Leap Of Faith

Chapter 16

After our...err..fight, Abhi left. He didn't return home till late after midnight, and when he did, he just ignored me, pushing his way to his room and dozing off to sleep.

I did the same. Locked my door this time.

Around three, I wake up. Thirsty. Abhi hadn't come to my bed tonight. It kind of hurt.

I usually keep a water bottle in the room for the night, but in the rage of the fight I had forgotten, so I go to the kitchen to get water.

I have to pass Abhi's room to get there, and I tiptoe softly from the front of his door.

"No." I hear him moan, his voice laced with pain.

I still, and listen.

"Sorry. I'm sorry." He continues in that sickly heartbreaking tone. "I didn't mean to."

What's happening?

I take the liberty to open his door, and creep inside. He's rolled over the right side of his bed, his face consorted to a pained, broken visage.

"Come back." He almost yells this time, and I feel something break inside of me.

Fix him. Arjun's voice echoes in my head.

"Abhi." I whisper, kneeling by his side, and tracing his cheek with my knuckles softly. He flinches, then grabs my hand. "I'm sorry." He whispers.

He's still asleep, his breath coming out in shallow gasps.

"Abhi." I whisper again. I'm crying now, the tears flowing freely down my cheek. "Its me, Aaliya."

His eyes flicker open, and he sits up, murmuring curses under his breath.

"Abhi.." I sigh, and sit down beside him, wrapping my arms around me. He clutches me tightly, squeezing to the point of pain, but I don't mind. All I know is that he needs me.

"Peach." He whispers breathlessly. "I didn't mean to. I swear, I didn't mean to."

My heart hurts.

Oh Abhi.

"I know." I say, choking on a sob. "I know, baby."

He hugs me tighter against his chest. "Stay with me?" He asks, but he's almost begging.

"Ofcourse." I reply.

"I'm no better than that druggie." He says brokenly.

"No, Abhi." I tell him firmly. "You are the best."

"I'm not." He says, pulling back to meet my gaze. His eyes are red rimmed. "I'm a killer."

"I don't know what happened to you, Abhi. But I know you. You're not a killer."

He hugs me again, holding me tight, as if he's afraid I'll vanish off into thin air. I rub his back soothingly. "Its gonna be okay." I repeat over and over to him.

"Tell me you love me." He demands softly.

"I love you." I comply instantly.

We go to sleep like that, him clutching me tightly, as if I'm his anchor.

I don't sleep, I can't. I stroke his hair, lulling him to sleep, and trace the contours of his face with my eyes, like I do most nights.

When I wake up - he's gone. Like always.

He's left me a note saying he's left for work and will be back by early afternoon.

I shower and change my clothes, then begin cleaning around the house, cause it's a Saturday. And we clean on Saturday.

By the time Abhi's back, I'm done with my and the living room. He helps with the balcony, then tells me that he'll be doing his art room thingy next. He goes there, and I go to his room.

I start with dusting the windows, then the shelves.

On his bedside table, there's his phone charger, and a small bottle of pills.

"Abhi?" I call.

"Yeah?" I hear him call back.

"Can you come here for a second?"

He comes over, his eyes narrowed on my hand.

"What are you doing with those?"

"What are these?" I ask.

He reaches out and snatches the bottle from my hands. "None of your business."

Suddenly, everything clicks into place.

"Are those drugs? Do you take drugs Abhi?" I accuse.

"Its Celexa."

"So?"

I'm outraged. He's on fucking drugs?

"Stay out of this." He snaps.

"I want nothing to do with this."

"Good."

I walk out, slamming the door on his face.

That night, while I wait for him to come to my room, I google Celexa on my phone.

Celexa - Anti Depressant

He creeps into bed at his usual time.

"Celexa is an anti depressant." I say in form of greeting.

"Yes." His reply is clipped.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

He shrugs.

"What happened Abhi?" I ask, stroking his hair softly.

"Nothing." He says.

I want to ask more, but I know things are always too fragile with him. He will break, then I will too. Pushing too hard could shatter it all. And I don't want that. Not for him. Not for...me.

"Okay." I say, backing off.

"Okay."

"Good night, Abhi." I tell him. "Love you."

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