"Graduation in four days, baby!" Roman howled as he swung Alex in a stumbling circle. Alex gasped and instinctively clung to him when Roman was thrown off balance and they tumbled to the ground. Roman's larger arms clutched Alex tightly as he took the brunt of the impact.
"You're such an idiot!" Alex laughed as he wiggled himself free and held out a hand to his grinning best friend. "You're going to break your neck one of these days."
Roman rolled his whiskey eyes. "Please, I'm sure Basic is going to give me a lot worse than a sore tailbone." Alex's smile and gaze fell to the ground. "Hey," Roman began, apologetic. Alex shrugged off the large, rough hand that gripped his shoulder.
"Good morning, sexy." Alex groaned inwardly at the approaching voice.
The voice of Tori Mason reminded him of feral cats in heat. It was whiny, dirty, and desperate. He watched as her slender arms snaked around Roman's waist and her pushed up breasts pressed into his stomach while she giggled and batted her fake lashes. He had no idea how Roman could find it attractive. All Alex could see was two slimy snakes in place of her arms and plastic accessories from the makeup department plastered to her face. She had been like a starving leech when she threw herself at Roman six months prior; following him around and flirting dramatically for weeks until he finally gave her any attention. She apparently still hadn't gotten her fill.
The sight of Tori mauling Roman was enough to push Alex's last button that morning; the one that kept him from screaming like a mad man. It wasn't even her that Alex loathed. It was who she portrayed herself as; it was the sharp-clawed, berating witch that was sucking the life-force from what was his whether he had staked his claim or not.
"Exi..." His head snapped up at the sound of Roman's voice. He could feel the slight taste of metal on his tongue before he realized that he had bitten his chapped lip open. "Dude, what'd you do?"
There was a sense of satisfaction in Roman pushing Tori off of his body in exchange for Alex. Roman's thumb ran over Alex's bottom lip and Alex struggled to contain the content sigh rushing up his throat.
"Bit my lip, I guess." Alex shrugged and flicked his tongue over his lip to lap away the small drop of blood that had pooled there. "I'm going to the gym."
Roman called after him, but Alex didn't stop. He knew he had to keep his feet moving forward or he would just end up turning around and running back, because that's what he did; he always ran to Roman. He just needed to get through the graduation practice; a short two hours and then he could run back to his house and hide in his room and pretend that his world wasn't falling apart.
Those two hours were anything but short. They felt like they dragged on for days. The principal and teachers whined out orders, insisting that all the students should show more pride, that they had worked for so many years to get to this day, and that they would regret messing it up. Their response was a chorus of groans, yawns, and bored chuckles.
By the time they were dismissed Alex was tugging on his hair out of sheer frustration. For those two hours he had been forced to watch Tori's strawberry blonde hair being constantly tossed over her shoulder as she giggled and pawed at Roman who would wink and stretch his toned arm around her shoulders. The second that they were excused, Alex bolted from the gym, pretending that he couldn't hear Roman calling his name.
Alex rejected every phone call and text that Roman sent until they were coming back to back. With a sigh, he simply shut off his phone and tossed it on his dresser. He climbed into bed and glanced over. The clock on the dresser said it was only seven, but his mind was exhausted and his heart simply lethargic.
Four days.
In four days everything would change. There wouldn't be any more racing to beat the bell. There wouldn't be any more gossiping at the lockers between classes. No more lunch room bullshit. There wouldn't be any more of the trivial things that he and his peers had complained about for their entire high school careers, but now, now he wanted those things back for just a little longer, because when they were gone, there wouldn't be any more Roman. How could any of those other things have seemed like they mattered? Alex pondered the question until his skull ached.
Alex's pillow case caught his distress. The cotton fluff inside, muffled his pained groans, but not enough that he heard his bedroom door opening over it. His mattress dipped with a new added weight and a warm body pressed to his back. An all too familiar voice filtered into his ears and all too familiar arms wrapped around his waist.
"It's alright, Exi," Roman hushed, his voice slightly shaky.
His larger fingers slipped into Alex's hair when the sniffling boy rolled towards Roman and buried his wet face in Roman's shirt.
"Why are you here?" Alex mumbled.
"When have I ever needed a reason? What's going on, Brat?" Alex shrugged, refusing to move from his current position. The warmth of Roman's arms relaxed muscles that he didn't know were aching.
"I'm just tired." Alex's words were muffled by the damp cotton of Roman's T-shirt but he didn't care. This was one of the last times he would ever be able to just be wrapped up exactly like he wanted; and he was going to be selfish and take it without a single second thought.
"You're lying to me, but I'll leave it for tonight." Roman climbed out of the bed and Alex shuddered at the loss of heat. The light was flipped off and Roman was back in his bed once more.
Alex felt safe. He felt content. He felt angry, and so sad that he swore he could feel his heart breaking with every breath he took. It wasn't supposed to be like this. These were supposed to be the best years. Stress was supposed to come in the form of trying to find footing in the post-high school world, and the pain was supposed to come from hangovers and summer fling break ups.
Roman's short, blunt nails softly scratched Alex's scalp again and Alex felt no shame breaking down in front of his best friend. He had never felt shame with Roman, no matter how light or heavy the situation.
Roman had never made him feel ashamed or lesser than. He always complimented and encouraged Alex. He never judged him and he never betrayed him and Alex mirrored that. They had been attached at the hip for so long that they were a unit in the eyes of any that knew them. Their life together was like a well-oiled machine.
Somewhere along the way it had changed. Alex realized that Roman was the only one to make him smile, truly smile. He realized that he didn't know how to make plans for his future, let alone for a weekend, without Roman. He realized that they fell in sync with each other's steps because they had begun to meld into each other. And by then, it was simply too late to stop it, even if he wanted to.
It sounded wrong, it made his stomach hurt to think that his plans would be for one after years of them being for two; the two of them.
Alex wasn't afraid to tell Roman what was truly eating at him because he was scared of losing his best friend for being in love with a man. Roman would never do that to someone. Alex was scared of losing himself. If Roman rejected him, it would all be different. If Roman somehow returned his feelings, everything would be different. Roman would still be leaving either way and Alex would still be alone. It always came back to that fact, now. Alex was going to lose him either way.
"It's time to shut off your brain," Roman yawned. Alex ordered the pain spreading in his gut to back down as he sank into the comforting touch of Roman's fingers in his hair; the soothing action that Roman had taken too when they were only eight and Alex had fallen off his bike and cut his knee open. Because Roman always knew what to do to lessen pain. "Exi, close your eyes and sleep. I'm right here."
"For now," Alex muttered.
"Always, Alex. I promise you."
