Intent [Wattys 2017]

Chapter 29

Harry

Getting Jess out of the house was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do.

She was furious, the kind of furious where you're faced with the terrifying mix of uncontrollable crying and hysterical yelling. That's all she did for what seemed like hours. Just yelling and crying at me all at the same time and refused to leave until I explained myself. She just kept screaming about how I had led her on, that she had been there for me when Em tossed me to the curb. I can't deny she had a bit of a point but I tried to be honest, I really did. I thought I was clear and that she understood my stance on "us" but maybe I just didn't try hard enough to make her understand.

Well I'm not gonna make the same mistake with Emma, she's gotta know exactly what I want, how I feel.

Honestly I thought the fact that we never had sex would have been a bit of a hint. Ya, of course we did stuff... we got each other off on the odd occasion but there was no real intimacy. There were no fireworks no matter how physical we got but with Emma, just kissing her makes me weak in the knees. I thought not crossing that line with Jess would help keep the whole situation clear but I was wrong, so, so wrong.

But it's done, she's finally gone. Out of my apartment and out of my life after a thinly veiled threat that she would get me back for what I had done. She didn't mean anything by it I'm sure and if she did I don't care. Right now I'm consumed by how I'm gonna fix things with Emma.

I need to get over there as soon as possible. Sure it's 5:00 in the morning but I don't give a shit. Emma is too important to stay away or give her any more stupid space.

I can't even remember what I was thinking when I came up with that plan.

I need to get things settled with her, back on track and hopefully back to the delectable kisses we were in the middle of when Jess emerged from the shadows. Em's the best kisser I've ever been with, not gonna lie. I hate to think of all the experience she's had that makes her that good but I don't care, well I do but I'll dwell on that a little later. Right now I'm on a mission.

Scrambling to get out the door as soon as possible I shudder at the sight of my reflection in the mirror.

God I look miserable. Of course my appearance is accurate to how I feel but I don't need to show the whole world I'm a miserable prat.

My hair's pointing in all different directions, no matter how many times I run my fingers through it I still look ridiculous. And to top it all off I still smell of stale beer and Jess' cheap perfume.

Jesus I can't let her see me like this. Shower first, kissing Emma second.

Time might be of the essence but I still want to look my best for her in the hopes that it will show Em just how much I care.

After quickly taking a shower I splash on some aftershave and grab the first clothes I can find which happens to be black joggers, a black jacket, and a beanie. Not the most sexy outfit but I decided it would be faster to run over to her house the second I started thinking about what I needed to say to her. After slipping on my gear I slip into my trainers, grab my keys and I'm off.

I've never gotten dressed so fast in my entire life, I should get a medal.

Watching Emma walk away, once again, was heart wrenching. I regretted letting Emma leave the moment she slammed my door. At least the power and rage behind it shows me she cared.

She's upset, pissed. If she didn't care she wouldn't of slammed the door, right?

The moment I step outside into the fresh air I'm welcomed with a full body shiver. I didn't anticipate it to be this freezing. I run as fast as I can muster, cutting through the parks and back alleys. I must look like I'm running from the law or something at this hour in the morning.

Might look crazy but it's romantic right, me running to her at dawn?

As I think about it there are absolutly no words I can prepare that sound convincing enough for her.

Or do I have to say anything?

I can try and say all the right words but that won't work with Emma. I need to get her to feel it. How much I want her and need her.

All I have to do is make her understand, make her feel how much I want and adore her. How much I yearn for her. Relay the fact that every nerve ending in my whole body is calling out for her in a way that I have never felt before.

It's so sickeningly sappy but this need for her to listen to me and understand my side reminds me of a poem I read once by Azra.T that I found online.

"Kiss her. Slowly, take your time, there's no place you'd rather be. Kiss her but not like you're waiting for something else, like your hands beneath her shirt or her skirt or tangled in her bra straps. Nothing like that. Kiss her like you've forgotten any other mouth that your mouth has ever touched. Kiss her with curious childish delight. Laugh into her mouth, inhale her sighs. Kiss her until she moans. Kiss her with her face in your hands. Or you hands in her hair. Or pulling her closer at the waist. Kiss her like you want to take her dancing. Like you want to spin her into an open arena and watch her look at you like you're the brightest thing she's ever seen. Kiss her like she's the brightest thing you've ever seen. Take your time. Kiss her like the first and only piece of chocolate you're ever going to taste. Kiss her until she forgets how to count. Kiss her stupid. Kiss her silent. Come away, ask her what 2+2 is and listen to her say your name in answer."

That's how I'm gonna get her.

I felt how her body reacted to me when I touched her. When I pressed my lips against her neck. The goosebumps that appear on every inch of skin. The way she tightened her grip on my arms when I pulled her flush against my body or the way she tangled her fingers in my hair when she pulled me close to deepen the kiss. How when my fingertips brushed against her waist I feel like the most invincible person in the world.

I'm getting a little too excited just thinking back on it, memories of the other night flooding bacl.

With her by my side it's like I can overcome anything. I need her to understand the sheer depths of my passion for her and that is how I'm gonna show her. She just needs to understand, I have to make her understand if it is the absolute last thing I do. I don't care how long it takes and if it takes me my entire life we're ending up together. I refuse to let the two of us get so close and fall short.

I'm almost wheezing by the time I make it to her door. I never knew I could run so bloody fast. I'm sweaty and winded, not exactly the way I wanted to show up at her door. I thought going to the gym so much was supposed to prepare for these kinds of moments.

The irony is not lost on me, we're two peas in a pod doing the exact same thing to win each other's trust. I just hope we have more luck this time around. We've come so close and although I would always keep trying I don't think I can take waiting for our moment any longer.

This morning I'm gonna go win back my girl.

___

A/N: I really hope you enjoyed the chapter because I loved writing it. Just you wait for the next chapter cause I think you're gonna like it! (I'm getting excited just thinking about it, it might be my new favorite if I'm honest.)

Thanks for the VOTES and COMMENTS, I love and appreciate them ALL!! Keep'em coming. 

All the love, C.