Her.

Chapter 5

Chapter Five

Shawn's POV

I guess Bey was right. I couldn't argue with the fact that I wasn't attached to my daughter. I didn't know what it was, exactly. I guess it was my guilt. I didn't deserve to be in her life, in my opinion. I wasn't someone that she could really look up to. Her mother was doing an excellent job with her, and I love Christina for being there for her. I went back home to find Christina playing with Ashlyn.

She tilted her head at me. "You're home early," she commented.

"Yeah, I wanted to talk to you."

Christina eyed me for a moment before looking at Ashlyn. "About what?"

"This trip."

Nervously, she laughed. "What about it? I'm going regardless, Shawn."

"I know, I know. I was wondering if I could go with you? I can keep Ash while you do your thing." She was going to Chicago to work on opening another spa in that area. I was proud of her for venturing off.

"You...you want to keep Ash?"

I sighed as I sat down on the couch. "I know I haven't been the biggest help–"

"You haven't been a help at all. You've changed all of five diapers. You've held her all of ten times. The only thing you've done is bought formula, clothes, and furniture. And honestly, I don't even think that's coming out of your pockets."

I stared at her for a moment.

"You're right, and I apologize for that."

"What did she do to you?"

I frowned. "Who?"

"Ashlyn. What did she do to deserve for you to do this to her? Hell, what did I do to deserve whatever funk you've been in?"

I sighed. "Nothing. Nothing is your fault. Nothing is Ash's fault."

"What's nothing?" Christina asked curiously.

I looked at her. I wasn't ready to tell her about Bey. How do you tell your wife that you're in love with another woman? "Nothing. Can I go?"

She shrugged. "You're going to have to book your own flight."

"That's cool. We can leave at different times. When do you leave?"

She smirked. "You don't listen to nothing I say. Eleven tonight."

"So I gotta find a flight close to that?"

She laughed a bit. "Uh duh?"

She held Ashlyn out for me to grab. I took her into my arms and watched as she tried to smile, but she only had gums.

"Play with her until she's tired."

"How will I know when she's tired?"

"Because she will start fussing and everything you did before won't soothe her."

I looked at her for a moment before nodding. I watched Christina disappear into our bedroom and I began playing with Ashlyn. I swear it felt like I was just now becoming a father. I had to admit, when Chris told me that she was pregnant, I was a little upset. Not with her, but with myself.

I was with Bey when she called me and happily told me the news. She told me that she couldn't wait until I got home due to her excitement. Bey gave me a simple congratulations and told me to go home.

Just like Christina said, after a while of playing with Ashlyn playing, she started fussing. I was more than helpless, and all Christina did was laugh at my pain. She didn't even try to help me!