Restless Hope

Chapter 27 - Part 2

"I also need to prepare for the next round of judging," Beth says. "You three will enjoy yourselves, I'm sure."

We dance in silence for another minute. There's no denying the heat between us. We slow and stop.

"We shouldn't be doing this," Beth murmurs with eyes still closed.

"Don't think. Just feel," I whisper.

"I can't—"

"Yes, you can. For one night, let's forget everything we've been through and just live in our own little bubble. Please Beth. For my birthday?"

I see a faint smile on her lips. I want to kiss those lips so bad.

"You use my words against me," she says.

"Not against you. Never against you."

I slip my arms around her and feel her melting against me, her resolve weakening.

"Isaac—"

"Shhh."

She looks up at me with those brown eyes that melt me. I'm falling. I can't help it.

I cradle her head gently and move in to kiss her. At the last possible moment, she turns her head. I'm disappointed as I feel Beth pushing me away.

She blushes and covers her face with her hands.

"I can't believe I almost kissed you. I'm not one of those girls who does that!"

"Who does what?"

"Makes out with her best friend's boyfriend!"

"You were planning to make out with me? Because I wouldn't object–"

"Be serious, Isaac," Beth says.

"I was. And by the way, Sophie's not exactly my girlfriend–"

"She certainly thinks she is!"

I pause.

"You're sending mixed signals, Beth. If you're not interested in me, why did you give me the scrapbook, then?"

"Is that what this about? I gave you the scrapbook for closure! That's it, I swear."

"I don't believe you."

"After I saw you and Sophie kissing the other night, I came home and threw out all of the things I've kept over the years that remind me of us. I didn't think it would be fair to throw out the scrapbook, so I decided you should have it. I didn't mean anything personal. I thought I took out all the pictures of us. It was just too painful to have those memories around anymore. I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression."

"You threw everything away?" I repeat, my voice rising. I feel a little panicky as I imagine what she might have thrown out. That shirt she wore that day in the rain? The prom dress? The music mix I made for her in high school? How dare she throw away the memories we shared?

"Shhh. Someone might hear you. Yes, all of it."

"Then why did you leave the picture of us in there?"

Beth looks pained.

"Did I miss a picture? I'm so sorry. I thought I got them all."

"And you're trying to get me to believe it's not personal. I don't buy it. Why would you—" I begin. Beth cuts me off.

"I know all about all your kisses with Sophie. Every. Juicy. Detail. You can't imagine what kind of torment that's been. Sophie's crazy about you. She told me because she trusts me and she trusts you, and now it feels like we're betraying that trust."

I feel a sinking at this revelation. I didn't realize Sophie was the type to kiss and tell.

"If it's been tormenting you, don't you see that as a sign that maybe you still have feelings for me?" I ask.

"My feelings aren't the point. The point is Sophie doesn't deserve to be led on."

"I didn't realize Sophie was reading so much into it," I say. Beth's in denial. Throwing everything out after seeing Sophie and me kissing is a clear sign Beth's still emotionally involved.

"Look, Isaac. This can't happen. It's not fair to Sophie. Besides, even if there was no Sophie, nothing's changed between us. Olivia still needs me, and you'll be going back to Africa soon. What we had, it was good and it was beautiful once, but there's too much pain and heartache and time that's passed. I will always care deeply for you as a friend and cherish our past, but we can't be anything more than that. We both need to let go of the memories and make new ones. Go back to your party, Isaac; I'm going to my room. Let's not make this more difficult than it needs to be."

Beth really means it. I can see it in her eyes. She's cutting the strings that bind our hearts, this time for good. She turns and leaves.

It's the hardest thing in the world, watching the girl you love leave and knowing it's a mistake. I swore I would never put myself in this position again after the last time, and here I am again. I feel like a fool.

When I first returned from Africa, I thought this is what a wanted. Freedom. To break ties with past disappointments and start fresh, just like Beth is doing. Now freedom is staring me in the face and all I want to do is stay locked up in my own little world with Beth and throw away the key. It's clear there's only one girl I want to be with, only one girl who can heal me. A gentle girl with brown hair and a sweet smile who likes to garden and make scrapbooks and who my Gran loves to death. Now, as she's walking away, I realize it's too late, and I don't know how to make it right.

Ten years ago I let Beth walk away.

I refuse to let it happen again!

_________________

Please hit that star and show this story some love!

Oh man, the feels are intense here. I know we've all been a little hard on Isaac, but it seems he's finally starting to recognize just how empty life would be without Beth. What's he going to do next?

So I was looking at my stats on Chapter 26's two parts and I realized that a good chunk of my readers read the second part but not the first. Now, it could be the numbers are just off, but please check to make sure you're not missing a chapter! There are so many subtle things with this relationship that you will miss important details if you accidentally skip a chapter. 

I love this song too. So haunting. Do check it out!

Dedication today goes out to the lovely @BrittanieCharmintine, a fellow Wattpadre and dear friend. She's written the fabulous "Mermaids and the Vampires Who Love Them." If you haven't had a chance to check it out yet, please do! (By the way, she's an Evil Overlord who rules over her minions. You may want to become a minion by checking out her evil empire!) :)