Paul Lahote love story

Self control and Cries

Paul POV
Delia and me went to a small Italian restaurant knowing she loved Italian food. We started at each other all afternoon. Her gaze so alluring. I just wanted to stare at those ocean blue eyes forever. But sadly no. We chatted and joked and I smiled with her. It was amazing.

     I held in everything I could not to kiss her and stroke her hair and hold her. I had gotten her something. The whole pack chipped in and we got her a new motorcycle and I got her an extra present. I spent all week making a jar and inside it has about a million pieces of papers on reasons I love her. I mean the list is endless. So every time she feels horrible or sad or happy she can pick one out. I know it's not much but I hope she likes it. I know how much it means for her to have her motorcycle which was trashed on the day we went to take it back to her and she went to help the Cullen's well it exploded that's how it ended.

    It is sleek and like her. I know it sucks I can't ride one but I can always learn or just have her ride it and me hold on to her no matter how much that would hurt my ego. I would do it just for her.

    Only I have a huge problem on my hands it's raining and I forgot my umbrella in the car which I don't know where it went. I MESSED UP. We were outside on the sidewalk running. I had given here my cardigan like grey sweater so she could put it over her head. It was nothing romantic because her hair was drenched. I just stop walking all together feeling miserable. I do hear Delia stop.

    I feel horrible. I basically messed up her birthday. I made her feel sad at the restaurant by accidentally bringing up her mothers name. Then I took her out in the rain and now she's sick. Shape shifters  get sick believe it or not. I feel useless as I crash on a bench from the park we were walking through. It was late and it was dark and there was nobody only people in cars zooming by and people inside their homes. Nobody in there right mind would take anybody outside.

    I grab at my hair and sit there choking out a sob. I ruined everything. My father left me and lives in California, My mom died, I had no siblings, my father hates me and blamed me for my mother dying. Sam doesn't care about me the pack hates me I think. Jake hates me Holly hates me, Alec hates me, Leah hates me. But then someone I truly truly didn't want to lose is Delia. Well I ruined that too because he hates me.

     I feel thin arms wrap around my neck. "No baby I don't hate you and you won't loose me and the pack doesn't hate you they love you and Holly and Alec love you. Jake loved you just like everyone from the pack. Your dad is an honest idiot whatever happen to your mother was not your fault. Most importantly I love you and I will never stop loving you. You are my everything and no matter how much you hurt me that will never affect to seize how much I love you you"She says her voice cracking. I can't hold back tears.

     In my life I trained myself not to Cry. But I couldn't and all my actions were bearing up on me and I felt repulsive. I just realized I had said the things about people hating me out loud. "I ruined your life and your birthday"I choked out. "No. Paul. No you didn't you made my birthday the best on the planet. You opening up is the best thing ever. And you joining me is the best"She whispers to my ears her hot breathe giving my goosebumps.

    I know I said I would go slow but I can't. In Paul Lahote and it hurts not to kiss her. I turn my face as she kisses away my tears and I can't. I just can't.

   I turn and pull her to me by the shoulder as gentle as I can which is hard. She lets out a surprised gasp and that's all it takes. I lift her up and near the tree next to the bench.All the while clutching onto her back. I lean in close enough to see the light dusting of freckles along her nose and cheek bones. I can see her bottle blue eyes and the golden flecks I have never noticed and her pupils dialate.

     I can see her red lips and I can almost taste the mint on her breathe and on her lips. I can taste already the taste of tropical fruit on her lips. I don't stick to my promise and I latch my lips onto hers. Oh how I missed this. Her soft lips were stoic but then melted against mine. I could feel everything disappear around me it was just her and me. I pulled my hand behind her hair and deepened the kiss. That earned a moan from her lips.

   "Mmmmm"She says in the kiss. I want her closer I need more. I kiss her jaw and trail down her neck. "Paul "She moans. I can't help it. I feel like kissing her more but I pull away and our lips make a pecking sound as I pull away. She pants into my neck. "I'm sorry" I say breathily into her hair. I place my cheek onto her hair and just hold her skinny but curvy frame to mine. I'm intoxicated. I just hold her more like clutch her back. "I'm sorry I'm sorry. I know I swore I would take it slow I know I messed up i know I have no self control I know I shouldn't have kissed you like that and I'm sorry. I'm an animal please don't hate me please I know I'm acting like an idiot and you probably despise me but I couldn't stop myself your just so...Stupid and so... You mess up my self control"I keep talking fast. She growls angrily at me and slams her lips on mine aggressively which shocks me for a couple seconds.

   I kiss back this time the kiss melts in to something soft. "Come on Paul let's go I'm cold"She croaks her voice breaking. I take her hand and run to the car completely and utterly wet. She smiles a little against the window as she sees me blush. Wow. She's amazing. "Screw going slow and don't apologise I loved every second of tonight well except for getting sick but I don't care"She says smirking. I smirk back and drive her home.