Lost and Insecure

Chapter 13

Lexa glanced at Clarke, noting her tense expression. Clarke could feel her mom glaring at her a few feet away, but she continued to ignore her and stared down at the carpet. Lexa sighed out loud, realizing the women were going to glare at each other until someone intervened.  She gingerly rested her hand on Clarke's knee, not wanting to be disrespectful of Abby's presence but still wanting the blonde to know it was all right.

"Clarke, it's okay. If I were your mom, I'd be a bit confrontational as well" Lexa spoke softly to Clarke, calming the girl's nerves. Then, she turned to Mrs. Griffin, who, amazingly, still managed to have a smile plastered on her face despite the tenseness of the atmosphere.

"Lexa, I really appreciate you helping Clarke out last night, especially taking into consideration how intoxicated she probably was.." Lexa barely refrained from laughing when Clarke rolled her eyes at her mom like a teenager.

"Okay, you know what, Mom? I'm of-age. I'm an adult. I'm allowed to drink. You don't need to act like I'm some irresponsible child who needs baby-sat all the time. We can't all be perfect like Lexa." Clarke spat, though she immediately regretted saying it when Lexa stiffened and pulled her hand away from her knee. She remembered what Lexa had previously said about herself, "I'm broken." Lexa wasn't perfect, she was scarred.

Clarke exhaled loudly and tried to look over at the brunette, though she was just staring politely at her mom. She groaned, lolling her head back on the couch. "Okay, I'm going to use the bathroom. I'll be back" Clarke sighed, pushing herself up off the couch. As she passed her mom, she whispered, "Be nice."

As the door shut behind Clarke, Abby grinned at Lexa, who mirrored the warm smile. "So, you weren't drinking last night?" Abby inquired.

Lexa shook her head slowly, "That's correct. I don't drink, like ever, actually." Please don't ask why, please don't ask why...

"Hmm, wow. That's pretty respectable. May I ask, why?" Lexa inwardly groaned. She had two choices: Tell the truth, or be dismissive of the question like she usually is. She considered the fact that she really liked Clarke, and she wanted to make a good impression on her mother. That in mind, she took a deep breath and leaned forward, bracing her elbows on her knees.

"I usually don't tell people this straightforward, but I want you to feel comfortable with me because, honestly, I really like Clarke and I want you to trust me with her, so, here we go. Basically, I lost my dad at a young age and my mom was supposed to take care of me. But, she was an alcoholic and usually found a fifth of vodka more valuable than me. Eventually, I was taken from her, put into the foster system, and never saw her again. After bouncing through multiple homes, I landed in one that was temporarily stable and I was able to try and track her down. I found out she'd been driving home one night, drunk out of her mind, had gotten into an accident, and died on impact. So, basically, I have addiction in my family and I don't want to end up like her. I want to amount to something, you know? Be successful. I don't want to drink my life away."

Abby listened carefully, nodding her head as she watched Lexa talk. She could see the passion in her eyes when the girl spoke of her future and doing something with her life. This was definitely a girl Clarke could learn a few lessons from.

"You know what, Lexa? I like you. I hope you and Clarke grow close because I think you two could really benefit from each other" Abby said with a smile.

Lexa beamed at Abby, glad to be making a good impression. "Thank you, I hope so too, honestly" Lexa laughed.

Abby nodded again, studying the girl in front of her. She checked over her shoulder to see if Clarke was still gone. Upon noticing the still-closed bathroom door, Abby leaned in closer to Lexa and dropped her voice to a whisper.