Freaks//L.B

Innocents gaze 2

"ITS SOMETHING YOU CANT HIDE LUKE, EVERYDAY IS NOTHING TO ME CAUSE YOUR NOT HERE" I yelled angrily,
Yup it's another fight

He barely stays here at home with me and goes out killing people rather than hang and cuddle with me
He honestly looked annoyed
"SO WHAT!!?! .... IM NOT GONNA TREAT YOU LIKE A FUCKING CHILD CAUSE YOU'RE SUICIDAL, FUCK THAT SHIT YOUR A GROWN ASS WOMAN ACT LIKE ONE" he spat

It lowkey kinda hurt, when he said those word I felt embarrassed cause it's true I need to stop bein like this
It's not good for me
I stared at him, it did hit me like bricks
He sighed realizing he hurt me  "I'm sorr-"
He tried to apologize
"N-no it's fine, I deserve that" I said probably lying to myself as
I walked away
But Luke held me above the elbow as I turn to him
"Please don't cut I know your going upstairs to cut" he whispered close my ear for only me to hear

He knew me so well it's amazing
How he knew
"I wasn't gonna Cut I was gonna go to the kitchen" I lied quietly
I went over to kitchen like I was "suppose to"
And got myself a bottle of water
And went over to the living room and sat down dazed 
I took a giant gulp
Luke went down the stairs and sat down, it was slient

It always happens everytime we have a fight, we just don't have nothing to say to eachother it's not that we are mad it's just we have nothing to say is all
I signed and took a sip of the water
"Wanna go and have a dinner date" Luke asked seeing the bright of his eyes

I knew he tried to make this relationship work and that just makes me love him more
"No." I said

He face sadden a bit but nodded
"I'm sorry" he whispered
As I saw a tear shed from him
I  hugged him tight as I could
"It's not and never was your fault, it's my fault I have self problems and I'm just trying to recover" I said truthfully
He smiled a bit but I knew he was faking it
I know him better he knows himself and he knows me better I know myself
I got up
"Where you going" he asked
"Just taking a shower" I said as I went over the stairs
"Can I take one with you" he asked
Which makes my heart flutter in nervousness
"Uh-"
"Please" he said dragging the 'E'
"N-no"
"Don't be nervous. Its okay" he said
I smiled
I went upstairs to my bathroom,
I turn the water on feeling the hot water trickle down onto our skin

-

I soon as I left the bathroom walked to my room and put on baggy sweats and a oversized tee and quickly hair dried my hair and put on a messy bun
"Luke" I yelled as I left my room
I glanced side to side
I went over to his room and open the door seeing him climbing out the weird, wearing baggy clothing like I am
I felt nervous
I ran to him
"What" he said annoyed as he had one leg out the window
"Let's talk" I smiled
He looked down "m-maybe, but I'm crazy I have urges" I sighed

It kills me that he's suffering
I'm suffering also
"Look at me, you love me right" I said trying to control my tears
He nodded "always" he added

"I know you're suffering Luke, we just need to go through this, it'll make us stronger, and one day we'll get married and have kids and live happily ever after just stick with me" I smiled trying to positive
He smiled, and slowly brought his foot inside
"I love you" Luke said
"But no one can change me, not even you" he smirked
I stared at him
And that's when he went off, out the window as I stared a moment realizing what's he doing and I ran to the window
"LUKE...LUKE COME BACK" I yelled into window
Just seeing him run and all of a sudden he stop, and turn around
Giving me a evil smirk he's a eyes blacker than night and seeing veins around his eyes, I must admit he's look gave me shivers
But I knew it's not him
He smirked and ran back
And I knew it's not a good sign
I took a step back and hearing thuds indicating his climbing
I ran out of his room and went down the stairs
I heard footsteps behind me it was luke
I unlocked the door quickly
But failed as I felt him pull my hair
I breathed deeply in fright
"L-luke, baby please let me go" I said trembling basically
He smirked and caressed my temple to my cheek
"Oh my...dear Zoe" he said Evily
"That's not gonna happen my love" he said
It's not my Luke that I know
It's just not
The veins were growing everywhere his olive skin turning paler and grayer
He's isn't dead that's for sure but he's looks like it
"The name is natas" he smiled and took out his hand for a shake
I rose an eyebrow
" natas?" I said confusingly
"Yeah" he chuckled
"Ok Luke are you kidding me?" I asked
He chuckled and looked pissed
"I'm not kidding if I could do this" he said.
He gave me a serious glare look
And right on that moment
I felt a terrible migraine it felt like someone was poking needless into my skull
I started grunted and yelling in pain and rubbing my temple
The killing pain made me want to die and be over with this
He smirked and finally it stopped
I panted
"Now am I kidding" he asked smirking at me
I glared at him
And he walked away going upstairs into his room I assume him going to do was he was urging to do...kill innocents
I panted and felt like I went through a heart attack

No I'm not going to let him end people's life
I thought to myself
I shook of the fright i had in me knowing he'll come back later on
I ran up the stairs seeing the wide opened window, the curtains breezing through the wind
I smelt a fragrance, a rose, grassy smell
I recognized it, vervain
I gasped
It was said when a demon is possessing a entity they're might be working with witch crafters and would say that vervain is the only herb to conceal a long lasting possession
I took paranormal/supernatural classes in my junior year
Thanks goodness but Luke was the one that pushed me too it
What if he wanted me to find out

I was confused about this natas person, what if Luke is pranking me, he's in a comedy group he had too
I said tears filled into my eyes
I then thought what natas wants'
What does he want?
I looked around and saw Luke's clothing drawer and I ran to it and look through his things
I saw a ruined brown leather book with water damaged pages
Looked very old
I opened but it didn't
I finally notice it had a lock on it
I sighed
*flashback*
I dancing with jokingly in his room while he blasted high school musical
I glanced at his bed seeing a old leather brown book
I noticed it was lock
"Luke" I asked
"Yeah babe?" He asked
Which made my heart flutter (I know what a teenage high schooler would say)
"Why do u have a lock on it" I asked "are you hiding something?" I ask jokingly

"If someone puts a lock on something means there hiding something" He said
*end of flashback*

"If someone puts a lock on something means there hiding something" I mumbled
I looked around to find the key
I finally check his night stand
And looked under the table
And there it was his key taped under table
I smiled and pulled the key and ran to the leather book and unlocked it
I opened
"My heart, my sole it's about spill onto paper, if I'm reading this it's something I'm need to remember, I'm a monster there's nothing I can do, I have Satan living off me
I'm scared that one day I'm going hurt Zoe, I'm inlove with her and I want her to get better and protect her from everything bad but when I looked at her I wanna see how her blood flows off her body or how she looks when she dead, I'm scaring myself from this.
Today me and Zoe was on another fight I was close to hurt her she didn't notice thank goodness
I feel more suicidal now I hate myself from this
I'm pathetic, I'm crazy and I hurt the people that I love, I hate myself
Luke '

I wasn't sure if he was like this for sure, I can't believe that I think that this is what he always wanted I thought he didn't have a soul to feel guilt