Freaks//L.B

Lost 1

"I can't do this Luke, I have problems" I sobbed
He slapped me which made me stunned
"NO YOU DONT" he cried seeing tear out of his eyes
"LEAVE ME ALONE" I yelled

"YOUR ALL I WANT-"
"GET AWAY FROM ME" I screamed

And now we're both laying there crying our eyes out
-
We both calmed down
"There's something wrong with us" Luke said as he wrapped his arms around me as we laid down on his bed
I looked at my cuts I've made the passed week
"We're sick" I whispered
Luke gently took my wrist and kissed my scars
I smiled slightly
"Let's run away together" Luke said as he snuggled down to the crooks of my neck
"I wish but i can't" I said
I got up
"Are you having urges again" Luke asked
I sighed and nodded and as I glanced back at him and left the room
I went into the bathroom
And took my pills that contained pot
I felt calmed after my nervousness urge
I took a breathe as I took another
And took giant gulp of water to wash it down
"Its gonna be last" I mumbled
That's what I always say but it never works
They say positive reinforcement could help or positive self talk could help which seems immune to me cause it never works
I took my razor and took a rag and firmly press the razor onto my skin feeling the burning sensation to cut
As I slowly slice my skin to enjoy the vile feel I heard a knock
"Are you done yet?" Luke asked
"Yeah, almost" I mumbled
As I felt the bleeding spreading and took the rag to stop the bleed from happening
I wash the fresh cut I created with water and left the bloody rag on the sink and unlock the bathroom seeing Luke being all grim and pale
"What?" I said
"Shh" he hushed me
I did as he told me to do and listen to what his afraid of
After hearing silence
I was confused
"what" I quietly asked
"G-guess I was hearing things" he said confusingly
I half smiled and kissed him in the cheek
"It's okay it happens" I said
He smiled
He a hand on my cheek giving me chills
And kissed my on he forehead
"I love you" he said
"Love you too"
"I'm gonna go get a drink of water and let's go to bed" he said
I nodded

I'm Zoe Baxter, I'm a Brunette and suicidal (Nina Dobrev)
I want to die but I'm only living for Luke, to get the joy I'm slowly dying by drugged, alcohol and cuts
My boyfriend. Luke Brooks is crazy
I don't say that to him cause that triggers him to..kill people
The police don't seem to notice for some reason
He's homicidal addicted to murder people

-flashback: to happier times, it's been like 2 weeks of dating Luke Brooks-

I laughed as he took a giant bite of my cotton candy
"Your so crazy" I joked
"For you?, yeah" he said
I laughed of how untrue that is
"Stop" I said pushing him playfully
"It's true" he smiled
"Well maybe I am but defiantly not you" I giggled
We were walking in the neighborhood coming from our 4th date it was in the carnival

"Ok, okay I have a question" he said jokingly as he look in the distance
"And that is.."I asked Taking a bite of my cotton candy
"Why don't you think I'm crazy about you" he asked I could see he was getting serious
I felt alittle uncomfortable about this
"I-I.." I stuttered
"You think your not worth it do you?" He asked
I didn't answer, I didn't answer cause I don't wanna lie to him
"Everyone is worth it" he said
"No I'm not" I said smiling looking down
"Fine what do I gotta do to make you know I'm crazy about you" he asked smiling
I smiled and laughed a bit
"Uhh um how bout you kill someone" I joked
He laughed "ok who"
"Uhhh ms.johnson, the English teacher" I said joking
"Ugh I hate her," he said
I laughed "who doesn't"
"Ok deal" he said
We both shook hands to make t "official" that its a deal
Which I know that he's lying
"Well that's my house" I smiled
"Bye" he waved as I got in

-

I walked into school the next day
Seeing him being all smiley
Which was so adorable
"Did you kill ms Johnson" I laughing jokingly
He smirked "maybe"
I rolled my eyes laughing

I hate ms Johnson first hour so I walked in which made me regret it so much
Saw blood everywhere
Seeing cops talking to what I assume witness
I felt light headed
He actually killed ms Johnson
And went all black indicated I've fainted

-end of flashback-

It gave me shutters when I found that out
Now that we graduated well I did Luke dropped out long before I graduated
Well anyway he still have urges like I do
I don't like what he's doing but I can't stop him

"I'm back" Luke said snapping me out of my thought
I smiled "hey"
"Cmon Let's go to bed" he smiled
I love that smile so much it makes me crazy
He looks innocent doesn't he ?
Huh no wonder why polices won't brother to question him or such
"I love you" I said truthfully
He took my hand and kissed it gently
"I love me too" he smiled
I laughed "you jerk" I giggled
"I know" he snickered
I rolled my eyes laughing
He looked down looking all sad
I was confused why? I mean we were just laughing a second ago what's the promblem
"What's wrong" I asked
"N-nothing just I wanna change I don't wanna kill people anymore" he said sounding like it'll disappoint me or something
"That's a good thing" I said smiling
He half smiled "but it's an habit of mine"
I nodded "we can get help" I offered
"How? I'm not telling a doctor that I kill people-"
"I know just say that you...uh think about killing people but you wouldn't ever do that" I said
"That's pretty smart" he said
"Maybe next weeks" he added

We tried getting help with our problems I don't know about Luke but sometimes I feel like I'm the freak in the relationship when really he is
I don't know how to explain it like everytime I cut or something like that he scolds me like it's the baddest thing alive I get that he loves me but I don't do that to him when he suffering like I am
"I'm tired" I said yawning
"Same" he said
"Wanna cuddle in bed?" He asks
"I would love that" I said smiling