Phan re-write of the book/movie "If I Stay".
Dan Howell, a talented young pianist, thought the most difficult decision he would ever have to make would be whether to pursue his musical dreams at prestigious Juilliard or follow his heart to be with t...
This was the day of the Julliard audition and to be honest, the nerves were eating me alive. I had my most fancy suit on, complete with my hair gracefully combed back and styled.
_
"Daniel Howell." Someone calls.
"Good luck." My grandfather says.
I smile and sigh as I walk out to the large room.
I walk over and sit down at the grand piano placed in the middle of the room.
I look up at the ceiling and smile to myself remembering Phil. My nerves suddenly seemed to of calmed.
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I close my eyes and begin to play.
Never in my life have I felt so... focused, so committed, so passionate.
_
"Thanks for driving me Grandpa. I mean that was..." I was lost for words and smiled. "Thank you."
"Dan, I just wanted to tell you that I watched your audition. From backstage. I wasn't too sure if that piano was gonna make it out alive."
"I know. I didn't know I had it in me."
"Well, you do. You were fearless. You played your guts out up there. Dan. You've got something special. Your dad had it too, but I never told him. I never made too much fuss about his music and I don't wanna make the same mistake with you. If those Juilliard people don't take you, they are damn fools because what you did up there was magic."
Tear well up in my eyes. "Thank you, Grandpa." I lean over to hug him.
_
I cycle over to the band's shed and lean against the wall as I hear Phil singing, solo, peacefully.
I smile sadly. If I do get in it's most likely I'll never see him again. Which scared the hell out of me.
I clap as the song ends.
"Oh, hey! You're back."
"That was a really beautiful song, Phil."
"It's gettin' there." He kissed me and we walked outside.
"How'd it go? Did you kill the audition? Are they gonna let you in on a full scholarship?"
"I did alright, I guess."
"Oh, come on. I bet you did better than you think."
"Actually... Phil, I played better than I have in my entire life. It was like I was possessed and the music, it just... It poured out of me. God. I've never felt anything like that before."
"Wow. I wish I could've seen that."
"Me too. You know, for once, I actually felt like I could do this."
"Why didn't you call me after the audition?"
"I know, I should've, but..." I sigh. "I don't want to fight, okay?"
"I don't want to fight either." He strokes my cheek with his thumb. "Well, you played better than you have your entire life. We should celebrate."
I nod.
_
Later that night, Phil drove me home.
"So, how comes you have never written a song about me?"
"I'm no good at writing about things that make me happy. If you want a song, you're gonna have to, like, cheat on me or something."
"What have I have to do for a full album?"
"Come on. Don't get greedy."
We laugh. Then fall into silence.
"You know, I don't think I'll even get in. There were like 100 other kids there. Then I don't have to choose, right?" I shake my head.
"But if you do get in, the choice is already made, isn't it'?"
I look down.
"Dan, come on. I'm not gonna be that asshole that stops you from going to Juilliard. If it was me, you'd let me go."
"But in a way, I already have. You know, you're going to your own Juilliard."
"Yeah, I know. But I'm still here. Okay? And I'm still crazy in love with you."
