Forever and a Half || Michael Jackson

Chapter Thirty-Three - Cut And Bleed

Chapter thirty-three – Cut And Bleed

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-Michael's Point of View-

Now it's past midnight, but I don't really care. Citria is sleeping in bed, whilst I'm sitting in the front garden – alone. I've come downstairs on my own so that I didn't have to wake Citria up; she needs the sleep after the day we've had because of Marco. After our argument, I felt so guilty about what I'd said and how I'd acted – I'm glad we're okay again, now.

The reason I'm down here at the moment is so that I can look at the stars. Since Citria and I did it on the night we scattered the ashes, it's become more of a habit for me. The stars are beautiful; they represent every person who has gained their wings and gone to Heaven. Or, at least, that's what I hope it represents.

The Autumn breeze is allowing my curls to float gently on the air. Speaking of my curls – the reason I'm so protective of them isn't because I'm a prude or anything – it's because of something a little more serious than that. I've yet to tell Citria that reason. And besides, when I complain at someone for touching them, it's more of a joke than being serious.

I'm sat against the tree trunk in the garden right now; it's the place I come to most when I'm out here. It gives me a gorgeous view of the sky, as well as something to rest my back against. I suppose I could just lie down on the grass, but oh well.

Inhaling a deep breath, I begin to talk to my family. "Hey guys. Um ... how've you been? I hope you've been good. A lot has happened since I last properly spoke to you: Reiss moved in with Clover and Citria's father, and ... Citria and I are together too. Uh ... Marco has been trying to locate Clover, and that's not good at all." Pausing to think, I furrow my brows subtly. "But ... recently I've started to miss you guys more and more. Is it because it's getting gradually closer to Christmas? There's only a couple months left, now. You guys didn't celebrate Christmas, but it was nice for us all to spend the time together. I wish I could have that back ... "

The fight within me starts to show, as I battle with myself not to cry. Unfortunately, the fight isn't strong, because a single tear rolls down my cheek. Shaking my head, I continue. "Um ... " I clear my throat. "But there's a lot more happiness than there was, of course. Citria and I are getting closer and closer as a couple, and I just know that you would approve of her. She's like a real-life Angel; you don't see them very often." Then, I feel the need to change the subject a little. "Mother ... I hope you're proud of me, and how I'm going along. You too Father ... "

As I look up at the stars, one star in particular begins to shine brighter than the rest. I'd like to think that's my mother, or maybe even my father. Or both ... because maybe they're one in the same. Anyhow, I know they've both gotten their wings from Heaven.

A thought then comes to my mind: has Citria had this talk with her mother about me? Maybe she's spoken to her mother about the fact we're together, and perhaps she believes her mother would approve of me. I'd like to think that she does approve of me, especially since I know my family would approve of Citria.

"So ... Earth is still just average. Nothing's changed. In fact, I think it's gotten worse since you left. The only brightness I have now is Citria and Uncle Reiss ... "

As I speak these words, a numb, almost-painful feeling rises up from my stomach, to my heart. It forces me to take a deep breath in, and still doesn't stop. The thought of having no family apart from two people in all existence is overwhelming me – and not in a good way. Tears sting my eyes as my thoughts suddenly snap back to reality – everybody I've ever loved has gone; I have almost nobody. They're never, ever coming back.