CS Cocktails

Honeymoon

* Emma's POV *

We'd been unsure of what to do for our honeymoon since the start, given that flying wasn't really an option this late in my pregnancy. We finally decided to go to New York City and stay there for a week or two, just go sight seeing and, more importantly, spend some quality time together, uninterrupted for once. We didn't get a lot of that even early in our relationship, and in a few months we'd get even less. I couldn't wait, practically bouncing the entire ride up there on our wedding night.

"Excited, love?" Killian chuckled, holding me close in the back of the taxi as I tried to look at everything. "Haven't you ever been to New York?"

"Never, not once," I shook my head, making him laugh with how fast I was talking. "God, there's so many people and lights, I can't wait to see everything-"

"Slow down, Swan," he said, moving my chin to make me look at him. "We'll get to that, I promise. But for now, I want you all to myself. Can you handle that for tonight?"

"Any time," I nodded, taking his hand off my chin to kiss his palm as I moved closer to him and his other arm tightened around me. I held his hand in my lap, letting my fingertips dance along his palm while I kept my eyes on his. "Sorry, babe. You know how beyond excited I am to spend all this time with you, don't you?"

"Aye," he said quietly, sighing and looking down at our hands. "I guess I'm just still getting used to having you back. I feel like you're going to slip through my fingers again and I'll lose everything I never knew I wanted until I met you. You and our little girl are my whole life, I... I-I can't-"

I didn't let him finish, twining one of my hands with his and using the other to make him look at me. I ran my thumb along his cheekbone as I studied his anxious eyes, leaning closer and brushing my nose against his a bit before kissing him gently. We kept it soft but let it grow deeper, his fingers tightening between mine.

I loved how gentle he was when he wanted to be and how soft his lips were when they moved in perfect sync with mine. I loved the way his fingertips felt running along my skin when he thought I was asleep and that he only let himself be vulnerable around me. But I also loved how protective he was, how angry he got when he was defending me- I'm sorry, but it's just insanely hot- and how I was always able to calm him down. I loved everything about the man holding me, everything tiny thing about him together with the way he was kissing me now just made my insides melt.

"You're never going to lose me again," I promised him in a whisper, my eyes still closed as I gently stroked his cheek with my thumb. "I love you beyond reason and we're going to have a daughter together. I don't want us to start our lives together with worries like that. I want you to be sure of me."

"It's not that I'm not sure of you, Emma," he shook his head a bit but didn't pull even a millimeter away from me. "I think that's the problem. I'm so sure of you, of how wonderful our life could be, I'm just terrified of it all being taken away."

"I understand that, but," I swallowed hard and moved as close as I could to him as I squeezed his hand. "We can't live that wonderful life if you're thinking like that, so tell me, what can I do? How can I help you live in the here and now? Right in this moment with me?"

"I don't know," he said almost guiltily. "I'm just so stuck in my thoughts-"

"Here," I interrupted gently, taking his hand and placing it over my heart with both of mine. "See? I'm right here in your arms, right where I'll spend the rest of my life. I know you're scared and so am I, but I need you to be here too. I-I need you."

"Oh, Emma," he breathed, wiping away tears I hadn't realized had fallen and keeping his hand on my cheek. "I'm so sorry, please don't cry. No tears on our honeymoon, my love, please."

"Sorry," I mumbled, wiping my face and looking away from him. He turned my chin back, leaving feather light kisses all over my face the way I often did to him. "I just want you to be happy-"

"I am," he assured me with a light kiss to my lips. "I was over thinking is all, but now I'm focused on you, I promise. I got us the best suite at the best hotel in the city and tomorrow we'll start the grand tour."

"Kay," I nodded, relaxing against him when he hugged me closer and closing my eyes as I cuddled into the crook of his neck. "Then what are we doing tonight?"

"Well," he started with a smile in his voice, kissing my hair and rubbing my side gently. "I just figured we would get room service and hang out in the room, but we can do whatever you want."

"That sounds wonderful," I smiled a bit, wrapping my arms around him tightly and being secretly glad we were stuck in traffic. "Things have been so crazy, some quiet time would be really nice."

"It really does," he sighed, just holding me until we got to the hotel. A bellboy got our luggage and led us to the honeymoon suite, my mouth falling open a bit as I looked around. "Not bad, huh?"

"It's amazing," I agreed, wandering out on the balcony and soon feeling him wrap his arms around me from behind. He rested his chin on my shoulder, making me smile as his cheek brushed mine. "How exactly are we affording this?"

"It's called a savings account, love," he said and kissed my cheek. "I'm sure it'll be pretty drained after we get everything for the baby, but that's what it's there for."

"Really?" I giggled a little and looked over at him. "Were you planning on accidentally getting me pregnant?"

"No," he laughed, that happy twinkle in his eyes returning. "But is it so bad that I did?"

"Nah," I shook my head, looking back out over the city as the baby rolled over. "I think things worked out pretty well. I would have liked a little more time just you and me, but I kind of screwed us over in that department."

"It's alright, you were scared," he said as he squeezed me tighter and we were quiet for a few minutes. "Want to sit in the hot tub with me for a while?"

The next two weeks were perfect. We did see a lot of the city, but we spent most of our time in our suite. We didn't have to worry about anything but each other for once and it was wonderful. I didn't want to go back to work, let alone deal with the lawsuit Neal's father had stuck us with. Sure, he had no case anymore, but it was still a hassle. So we hid from it all as long as we could, sitting happily in our newlywed bubble.

Sorry, no time to edit- I'm off to work. I'll try to update as soon as I can since it's been so long. Later loves!