Save Me (Adam Lambert)

Authors Note: Most Important Part!

I'm sorry if you guys thought this was an update. I promise to update soon :)

This is more of a serious note though. Please don't skip this. It's important. Extremely.

I know what it's like. How annoying are those 5 words? 'I know what it's like'. But in this case. I do. I know.

We get bullied, hated on, teased, scarred. Words hurt more than you could ever think. Events hurt even more though. For example...my event.

2 months, 2 weeks. That's how long it's been since he was diagnosed. Since my uncle was diagnosed with terminal cancer. He doesn't smoke, hardly ever drinks. He was just unlucky.

4 years ago, my pop was taken at 56. Cancer claiming another victim. That's when it started. When my depression took hold.

I know that things like cancer take many souls. But not just the ones of the people with it. Family members can be affected just as much. My pop came to terms with it. My uncle has as well. But I haven't. I never will.

I'm angry, I'm frustrated, I'm confused. I'm 15. My uncle will die before September ends. He will be the 7th funeral I've cried at. But I don't want to cry anymore. I can't.

He was the last straw. The last thing to finally awaken my anger and pain again. That's when I started to draw.

They aren't normal drawings though. These drawings are on my right leg. On my thigh so no one ever sees. These pictures are created with a razor. Cool metal dragged along my skin.

Please don't feel sorry for me. Please don't think I'm lying. I'm not writing this for me. I'm writing this for you. For everyone.

I know I'm not the only one who draws. I'm not the only pain bringing artist. I know that others feel like I do. Maybe I'm not the only one that has been bullied since Preschool.

I need you to know, that I'm always here. If you're depressed, angry, confused. Anything. If you have thoughts of ending it like I did. Like I still do sometimes. Talk to me. Inbox me. Tell me you're life story. Or merely say hi. If you need someone, I'm here. I will never judge. Never push you away. Never say you're too broken. Because I'm no different.

Adam saved me. He's the only reason I'm still alive. The only reason I didn't end it all.

One Saturday, when my mum was called into work, I had a really bad day. I had the pills, was ready to end everything. Needed to end it. I was watching a music Channel. I'm Australian, and they hardly ever play Adams music videos here. But that one day, they did.

I was about to down about 10 or 11 pills. That was only the first round of the many that were to come. I brought them to my lips, and was so close to swallowing. But I didn't. Because he came on the tv. I had forgotten that the tv was even on. But then BTIKM came on, and I stopped. I fell to my knees, the pills going everywhere, and I cried. I turned the volume up, and watched and cried. The song was my saviour. He was my saviour. And from then on, I knew just how much I loved him. Just how much I couldn't leave him. How much I needed him.

And as much as it kills to know he isn't coming to Australia in 2013 or 2014, I don't mind. I mean, yeah, it kills. But I know that he's going to keep making music. Music that will save me.

I'm not here to talk about just him though. I'm here to tell you that I love you. That I understand.

That I draw, and I know at least a few of you do to. I'm here to tell you that you're beautiful. It doesn't matter who you love, how you love, or how you cope. You're all beautiful to me. You're all my fans, my family, my brothers and sisters. It doesn't matter if you're a Glambert or not. Because I love you.

If you ever feel like no ones there for you. Always know that I am. That I always will be.

So darling give me those sharp edges

Dry your tears

I know what it's like

To live in the shadow of your fears

I love you. You are strong. You are perfect. You are family. You are unique. You are you.

-Em xo