We're Almost There

29. I May Be Broke, But It's The Thought That Counts.

Twenty Nine

Kenzie

"I think it's time," Kenzie murmured, mostly to herself.

A smile spread across Kyle's face. "You can do it. I know you can."

Kenzie nodded slowly, even though she wasn't entirely in agreement. She reached onto her desk and slid the razor blades into the palm of her hand.

She looked at them, analyzing the blood stains and worn edges. For a long time she thought they had been her best friends, but really they were only making things harder for her. Kenzie had once been a hazard unto herself, and it was time for that to end. She knew it wouldn't be anytime soon, and that this was going to be the hardest part. She just tried to hold onto the promise of better things she hoped would come.

With her hand shut carefully around the blades, Kenzie stood to her full height. Using her free hand to grab hold of Kyle's, they went downstairs and out the door.

Her legs didn't want to support her. Turn around. Keep them. Don't throw them away. You need them. She tried to block these thoughts from her mind, as they were absolutely no help.

After a few minutes of walking, Kyle and Kenzie rounded the corner to where three dumpsters stood, rusted green and putrid smelling. What a perfect way to get rid of them.

Kenzie walked closer to the nearest one, the lid reaching her collar bones, Kyle right behind her. She heard the rumble of the garbage truck in the distance. It was now or never.

She raised her hand, trying desperately to keep it steady, and unclenched her fingers. The razor blades shone brightly in the afternoon sun. With a trembling arm, Kenzie turned over her hand, and they fell in slow motion. Down, down, down.

The garbage truck came into view at the end of the street, coming ever closer.

Kyle gently grabbed Kenzie's now empty hand and pulled her backwards. They watched in silence as the men emptied the dumpsters then moved on with their job. The truck disappeared around the corner, the sound of its engine gradually fading as it headed away.

And it was over.

Tears brimmed in the corners of Kenzie's eyes, and she instantly felt stupid for crying. She hastily wiped at her face and Kyle moved her hand away, kissing her cheek. "I'm proud of you," he muttered against her skin.

Kenzie gave a soft smile. "I'm proud of me too."

Then, just as things felt perfect, Erin showed up with a solemn look on her face, Tristan right behind her.

Kenzie knew that Tristan had become an angel, but she could hardly comprehend how different he looked. He appeared, taller, stronger, healthier. The very features like his eyes and smile that used to be cold and menacing, were now soft and welcoming. He seemed happier with himself. Erin however, seemed dragged down, depressed, and tired.

"I saw what you did." Erin hugged Kenzie. "You've come so far," she added softly so only Kenzie heard. Her voice seemed shaky and sad.

"Um, is everything alright, Erin?" Kenzie asked, pulling away.

"You don't look like yourself..." Kyle mumbled, as if not sure he should speak.

Erin closed her eyes, the way she did when her thoughts were scrambled. Tristan stepped closer to her and placed his hand on the small of her back. He didn't say anything, but he seemed to have done the right thing, because Erin smiled lightly.

"Listen, McKenzie," Tristan said. His voice was different, too. While he normally sneered at her, he was now talking as if to an authority, with the utmost respect. "I know I can't go and undo everything I've done. But lately I've been trying to make things as okay as I can. This probably means nothing to you, but, I'm sorry. Really, I am. What I did to you, how much I hurt you, it was terrible. You didn't deserve that.