Cold Heart

Flight

"What are you waiting for?" My glare moved from the tunnel to his eyes, and he let out a squeal, seeming to decide that I was more terrifying than the drop below him. His gronckle ever so slowly lowered itself downward, and finally I was alone.

***

It was a long and boring wait for them to return, and I couldn't simply fly off or abandon the island as I usually would after finding nothing there. I was grounded in my thoughts. It was dangerous, really, for me to do nothing but think. I reflected whenever that happened; it caused me to fight tears and brew in anger. My mind was whirling, and I probably wouldn't even notice if someone killed me right now. I was barely seeing; the world was watery. 

Everything started circling back to Heather. I needed her to want to tell me if Stoick and the people of Berk were going to try to kill Toothless and I. I needed her to trust me enough to give me information on Drago and Alvin so I could solve the dilemma of the red death and the lack of attacks. I needed her more than I wanted to, and I wanted to see her more than I should have.

Her gaze kept coming back to mind. Her absolute anger at me. The effect her anger had on me. An evil man. I was an evil man. I knew that. If Snotlout were to come out of the tunnels first; if he were to swoop into my face or be cocky in any way I might kill him right then and there. I wanted to kill him right then and there. And I didn't just want to watch him die. I wanted to watch him suffer. I wanted to watch him scream as Toothless tore off his limbs, one by one. I wanted blood to gurgle in his throat until he choked on it. I wanted my face to be the last thing he ever saw, and I would leave him there. I would leave him for berkians to find. He would be drowning in mud and his own blood. I wanted everyone to know that I killed him.

But I wouldn't. I wouldn't because I had come to the conclusion that I needed Heather. For now, at least. And I doubted she would tolerate that. It had come to mind, obviously, that I could simply train a few dragons and burn down all of Berk in one swoop. I could take Astrid's axe and embed it in her own head. I could tie Stoick to a whipping post and whip him, day by day, until he died of pain and dehydration. I could destroy everyone who ever hurt me.

And yet, I had a gut instinct that that was a very, very bad idea. There was a whole world out there, and despite my personal ties to Berk, I was sure they were not the worst. In almost any other place I might have been terrified of being killed. Berk? Their idiocy made it possible to waltz around with a night fury and make them think that I had dragons in every patch of trees. It made it possible to go in there myself without constantly fearing for my life.

My thoughts were interrupted as Stormfly shot out of one of the holes on the other side of the island. I had assumed her and Astrid would do it quickly, but they arrived a bit quicker than I thought they would. I was almost thankful for this excuse to escape my thoughts, but I simultaneously wished I could just be alone. 

To my surprise, Astrid was not controlling Stormfly. Heather was. That had to mean something had gone horribly wrong, because Heather revealing that she could fly a dragon effectively made it obvious that her supposed naivety was a lie. Astrid had tears rolling down her cheeks, and Heather's face had turned completely emotionless. 

The dragon landed in front of me, and Heather fixed her gaze on me. "Hiccup. Why the hell would you send them in there? It's pitch black, cold, and impossible to navigate. They're going to die."

I looked up slowly, trying to seem completely emotionless. "They will only die if they are incompetent. If they prove competent, it will teach them something."

Heather jumped off of Stormfly now, stalking over to me with unbridled rage. She swung out her axe, pressing it up against my throat before I could even think to react. Toothless immediately growled, tensing up. Astrid watched the situation with wide eyes.