An Old Begining [GirlxGirl]

I Thought Until I Knew

Those words warmed my heart while at the same time making it flutter more than it ever has before. And that scared me. Elara and I were so different, but had so much in common at the same time. And now there was another thing we had in common, we both loved eachother. It had been eleven months since that day in the art room and even though six of those months consisted of us not talking, we still thought of eachother.

We spent a while catching up, the first thing I asked was where she had been staying.

"I went back home..." Elara trailed off a bit and looked at the grass. I waited for her to continue. "I think the five month break was what my mother needed, you know? She had time to cope with the fact that I like girls and when I came home that night, she hugged me, invited me in, made me dinner and showed me to my room. Where all my things were back in its original place and washed like new. She showed me the motherly love I'd never had from her before. Apologizing and asking for me to come back...." She stopped talking.

I waited.

And waited.

And waited.

She didn't say anything else.

"Are you going to stay with her? I mean, are you going back home?" I didn't want her to leave, but I knew if she wanted to, she needed to.

"I don't know yet... How about you? How have you been? Like, how was your summer?"

"It was alright. I missed you. A lot. Um. I slept. A lot. I didn't eat much. Thought about Rylee a bit. Not much to be honest. Just a lot of self loathing and sadness." Elara looked hurt. I won't deny the fact that she was the cause of my sadness and she knew it. "I haven't seen you in school. Where have you been?"

"Oh Um. My mom enrolled me into online classes. I'm almost done with the first semester, even though it's only been about two months. My mom has gotten back on her feet, which is a good thing."

I was shocked. I did not expect that. I thought she had just not taken the classes she knew I would take and asked to avoid me. I guess knowing she didn't do that wasn't as bad. But I couldn't help but think she took the online courses to avoid me...

"I didn't take them to stay away from you. If that's what you're wondering. I've wanted to be online since seventh grade. We just haven't had the finances to do so. Now we do."

I smiled. She was getting what she had wanted for a long time. Which is good.

I decided to finally speak. "This entire conversation has been awkward. Why is this so awkward?"

She looked down. She wasn't telling me something. I could tell. "I don't know. You're the one who doesn't like people." She said to me. We laughed. I missed her laugh. I missed her.

"Well. I dunno. I guess I just spent all that time thinking about our past that I never even contemplated what I would say if we met up again in the future. So I'm just listening. I spent a lot of time thinking about my feelings for you. And even though I thought and could swear that I loved Rylee... I know I love you..." I explained blushing at the last sentence.

"I've thought about that too Anastasia. You know, you've serusouly changed me as a person. Did you know that? I used to not even want a relationship... And now I can't see my life without you in it."

We sat there in the opening for about an hour and talked about everything and nothing. Catching up on school, family, emotional status and just about anything you could think of. Laughing and holding hands. It was great. Like old times. Until this happened.

"I have to tell you something. The.... Big reason I wanted to meet today...." I looked up at Elara when she said this. Her tone became very serious. "Um. Well. After about four months of knowing this I've thought so much about whether to tell you or not... And I guess I knew somewhere in my heart that is was wrong just to pack everything up and leave without saying anything to you at all."

My heart skipped. This time, in a bad way. "What do you mean 'pack everything up and leave?'"

She sighed and looked at me. Holding my hands and kissing my knuckles before speaking.

"Anastasia. I'm moving back to Georgia."