My Love Affair With Damon - A Vampire Diaries Fan Fiction

Chapter Thirty-Six - What A Prick

But maybe he was a fool to trust my mother in the first place.

Ugh! Why did life have to be such a bitch? Why couldn't the man I thought was my father be my actual father, instead of everyone having to face this utter bullshit? I just wish that I could have time. Time to get away and clear my head.

Then again, I'd have to help Damon through tonight before I even considered escaping for a day or two. Though I wasn't particularly fond of the fact that Damon had an undeniable, unbreakable lust for Elena, I just had to accept what was. After all, Elena wanted Stefan. That much was clear. I mean, you could see the kind of relationship between Elena and Damon - it was almost too visible. Elena loathed Damon because he made her fall in love with him. Damon was pining after something he had lost, and was never going to get back. Not if Stefan and I had anything to do with it.

Something rested on my shoulder, followed by a whisper in my ear. "What's brings you here?"

Speak of the Devil and he shall appear. I rolled my eyes. "Morning, Damon," I scowled.

"Now, now," he tutted. "No need to be so hasty. What got your panties in a twist?"

"I don't know," I lied sarcastically. "It might be the weather. It might be the fact that I'm going to witness the death of my father this evening. Or, you know, it might be the fact that my mother screwed over my father almost eighteen years ago!"

 "Alright, alright," he murmured soothingly. "Just calm down. Surely this can't be that painstaking. Don't worry. You didn't miss out when it comes to old Uncle Zach. He was just a bastard really. He never liked me. Or my brother. Don't worry about it. Just let it slip by. We'll go and watch the sacrifice like it's on the big screen, then we'll come home and make out while Stefan and Elena reunite and go through their whole little emotional scene. Sound good to you?"

"Not likely," I scoffed. "You expect me to watch my father die and then come home and fuck you like everything's okay? Oh, please. You really think I'm a fool don't you? Well, let's see who's the fool is later on. I can guarantee that, in the early hours of the morning, you'll be sat masturbating to Lady GaGa. If it's even possible. There's no fucking way I'm screwing you any time soon, my friend."

"You will," he insisted. "And you'll love it. Believe me. I have psychic powers. It's what makes me truly amazing."

I laughed dryly. "Is that why you need a whole boarding house? So there's a place to hold the whole of your ego?"

"Someone's a bit feisty this evening," he said smugly. "I like it. I've never liked dating whores. You, on the other hand, are quite an entertaining whore."

"Thanks. I guess I should feel so special. The first whore to satisfy Damon Salvatore. How exhilarating. I should really be thrilled."

"You're learning, dearest Lizzie. And don't be ashamed by that. You're learning from the best."

"The best? Yeah. Right. Of course. You teach me lessons Mr Saltzman could never teach me. Bondage happens to be one of them."

"Hey! I've never practiced anything of the kind. Well, I haven't in the last...decade...anyway."

"Really? What were those handcuffs I found in your drawers?"

"Can we please stop talking about my sex life? Please? Why don't we discuss your sex life? If you've ever had one, that is..."

"No, thank you. I think my sex life can stay sealed in it's box."

"Or it's condom..."

"What was that?"

"Nothing..."

"Shut your fucking mouth, asshole."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Are we clear?"

"Crystal."

"I'm glad."

I clasped my hands together behind my back, rocking from my heels onto my toes. Damon raised his eyebrows at me, but shook his head as if to discard any baffled thoughts. So he should. I pursed my lips.

"I'm going up for a short sleep," I decided, spinning on my heel and slowly taking a step forward, waiting for Damon to stop me. And so he did.

"Wait."

"Yes?"

"Do you want me to come with you?"

"And try and get me naked? I don't think so."

"No, not like that. Do you want me to sit up there with you? While you sleep?"

"Sure..."