"I didn't mean for any of this to happen." He whispered into the room thinking I was asleep. Whether he thought I would hear or not, I didn't know. Was I meant to? "I never meant to hurt you." I heard him shift around on the floor and then silence once again filled the room.
His soft breathing could be heard growing steady and even while I continued to lay stiff as a board and stare with an absent mind up at the cieling. It was going to be a long, sleepless night.
✥Jade✥
It's crazy what kind of shit starts going through your head and what kind of memories play in your head while you lay awake for hours. At least, it felt like hours to me as I lay there staring up at the cieling. I thought of my dad. I thought of the crazy bastards who killed him. I thought of what I was going to do with the kids to keep them safe. I thought of how I was going to hunt the psychotic bastards down even if it would be the last job I ever worked. Hell, I even thought of the man who lay on the floor just a few feet away from me.
Out of all those things, what I thought of the most was myself. It sounded selfish, but I wasn't worrying about my life or wondering what I could do to save my ass. No, I thought and pondered about what the f.uck happened to me. Where did I go wrong? Where did I f.uck up so bad that I had grown so weak? The main question that haunted me the most was: what happened to me?
Shuffling on the floor could be heard followed by low muttering that I couldn't make out the words to. Andrei was dreaming. I felt bad for trying to listen in on him, so I began to block out his muttering. That plan went out the window when his voice rose.
"No...don't go....please, don't go. Don't go! Don't leave me! Come back! COME BACK!" His voice continued to rise until he was practically yelling in his sleep. F.uck. I sat up and crawled to the other side of the bed where I looked down to find Andrei's silhouette tossing around. I sat up in the bed and leaned over to switch on the bedside lamp. A faint yellow glow illuminated the room that hurt my eyes from its sudden brightness.
I leaned down and gently shook Andrei's shoulder while he continued to mutter to himself and thrash around in his sleep.
"Hey, hey wake up. Wake up it's just a dream." I spoke quietly down to him as I continued to shake his shoulder. Sweat glistened his forehead and matted his hair to the sides of his face and forehead. He didn't respond, so I stopped shaking his shoulder and moved off of the bed to crouch down beside him. I admit that I took a more dramatic approach to waking him up than I should have, but it did what it was supposed to.
"Wake up, bitch!" I spoke a little too loudly as I slapped his cheek. I must admit that I did feel some satisfaction in slapping him. It was looong overdue and I felt good about doing it, that is until I ended up on my back with his fist raised towards my face.
"Jade, what the f.uck?" Confusion showed in his eyes as he lowered his fist. "I could have smashed your face in. What were you thinking?"
"I was just trying to wake you up, damn." I muttered.
"Well, you didn't have to f.ucking yell at me and nearly give me a heart attack." He replied.
"You wouldnt wake up." I justified. I lay there in silence while he still hovered above me looking down at me with an unreadable expression on his sweat beaded face.
"Are you going to get off of me?" I asked after I had enough of our staring match. Andrei's lips pulled into a smirk.
"I don't know, I'm kind of liking this." Andrei pressed his body more against mine enough for me to feel the hard planes of muscle that wrapped around his body. "Brings back old times, doesn't it?" I hoped he didn't feel how hard my heart was beating right now. I hoped he didn't see the fear in my eyes that was caused by our close proximity.
"It wasn't much to talk about or get worked up by." I lied. Andrei had been the only man I had been with for a long time and even after him it was just one other brief person. Our nights, mornings, and spurs of the moment never left me unsatisfied nor bored. Andrei was a monster through and through, even in the bedroom. Yet, at the same time he had a tentative side.
"Now, I know that's a lie." Andrei's voice dropped and he lowered his face closer to mine causing our breaths to mingle. "You can't tell me that all those times I've made you scream and cry out my name, begging me to go harder, didn't happen or get you worked up? You want to see if I can still play you like a violin? 'Cause baby, I haven't had sex since you left and its been a long damn time since I've had a woman. I've got just the one I want under me now and it's taking everything in me not to rip of your clothes."
His words set coals on fire in the pit of my body, however those were distinguished when his words triggered something in my head. He said he hadn't been with a woman since I left. That means he hasn't had sex in three years. That bitch he f.ucked around with was the last person he was with. That was enough to piss me off all over again.
"Get off me." I snapped harshly and pushed at his chest to show him that I wanted him off of me.
"What?" Andrei asked with genuine confusion when he heard the anger in my voice.
"I said get the f.uck off of me." I spoke through clenched teeth. Andrei moved off of my body allowing me to sit up then get to my feet.
"Hey, what's wrong, babe?" Andrei asked with genuine concern as he took hold of my elbow.
"Don't touch me." I shrugged his burning hand off of my elbow."I told you to stop f.ucking calling me that. I'm not your 'babe', your 'baby', your 'woman', or your f.ucking girlfriend so just stop." I felt fight or flight kick in as a desperate attempt to just escape filled me causing my heart to beat even faster. I needed to get out. I needed to get away from him.
"Where are you going?"Andrei called after me when I stalked over to the door and opened it.
"I can't--I--I just need some air. All I want is some air." My breath shook with the emotions that were tearing me apart. I stepped out into the cool night air then closed the door behind me. I walked quickly towards the motel parking lot then kept walking. The anger, the pain, and the uncertainty I felt about what was happening to me continued to pound into me with every step I took.
My head began to ache from all of the thoughts and emotions that plagued it. I put my hands on my head and let out a frustrated growl. I quickly pulled my hands away from my head when I felt a sharp pain stab at my scalp.
Looking down at my hands, I saw that my black claws had replaced my fingernails. They were blood tipped now after they had dug into my scalp. I let out an angry, frustrated growl then balled up my hands feeling my claws painfully bite into my palms.
I continued walking down the highway further and further away from the motel.
My emotions continued to roll off my shoulders like a storm would roll off of a mountain. I felt like I was drowning and didn't know what to do. I didn't know what to do about the kids to keep them safe. I didn't know how to fight the resurfacing feelings I had for Andrei, if you could call them feelings. I didn't know how I would track down the bastards or how I would slay them. It was a task I needed to do...it was a task I felt would be my last.
"F.UCK!" I screamed in pain when I felt something slice into my barefoot then bury itself deep into the muscle. I immediately collapsed onto my ass and gripped my ankle. I clenched my teeth in pain as I tilted my foot to look down at the damage. A brown piece of glass stuck out of my foot gleaming with blood that trickled and oozed out of my foot.
"Son of a bitch." I huffed in pain and placed my fingers around the glass. With a steady hand, I jerked on the glass feeling it only shift a millimeter or two while pain shot up my foot. I gritted my teeth and tried again, this time pulling harder.
A gasp flew from my lips when I felt the triangle of glass being yanked free from my foot. Blood poured out onto the ground and onto my hand when the glass was freed. I flung the piece of glass away from me then examined the wound. There was too much blood to see the wound clearly, but I had a feeling it had gone in deep enough.
I stretched my leg out onto the dirt that was beside the highway and felt blood trickle down my heel.
It wasn't much of anything to worry about, it wasn't like it could kill me. The pain was tolerable and nothing I couldn't handle or haven't felt before. I'd had worse than this...much worse. If anything, the pain was helpful. Helpful in a sense that it had taken my mind off of things.
I took a moment to take in my surroundings as throbbing pain still came from my foot. It was dark with the only lights coming from the motel. The highway was a lonely one with no lights lining it or cars cruising on its worn pavement.
Dry dirt stretched on for miles underneath the watchful eye of the moon. It was a big difference from the fields we had driven by in the morning.
A lone coyote called out from the distance letting out a long, lonely cry. It let out another with no reply back from any other coyotes. I could really go for a f.ucking cigarette right now. The nicotine would surely take off some of this edge I was feeling.
"There you are." Andrei's voice caused my head to jerk up finding him walking towards me along the highway. "Why the hell did you just run out of there like that? Have you lost your f.ucking mind?" He sounded pissed. I don't see why, but he was.
He stopped in front of where I sat on the road and looked down at me, the moon caused his pale blue eyes to shine a shade of silver. I never thought I'd be envious of a man's eyes, but his were f.ucking gorgeous. I don't think I've ever seen anyone with eyes that could compare to Andrei's.
"I thought--I thought you'd ran off. I thought you'd--I thought you had left again." His voice had grown quiet and pain was evident in his tone as he stumbled over his words.
He thought I had left again? Relief showed on his face and in his eyes. I didn't notice it before, but his chest was moving up and down at a rapid pace like he had just ran a marathon. He didn't though and I knew it wasn't from chasing after me because full blooded werewolves had insane stamina. He had been worried about me, fearful even. He had been afraid that I had left again and his body was in a state of heavy stress. Not knowing what to say or do, I turned my head back around and looked out at the vast plain of dirt and sand.
"Why do I smell blood? Did you hurt yourself? Where is it coming from?" Andrei asked as he sniffed at the air.
"Will you stop sniffing the air like a damn bloodhound?" I finally spoke. "I just cut my foot on some glass."Andrei crouched down beside me and lifted up my bloody foot.
"Look at this shit." Andrei sounded angry as he took my foot in his hands and examined it. "So, you're just gonna sit there and bleed out?" He brought his eyes to mine, anger swirling in his brilliant eyes.
"It's just a small cut. It's not like it's going to f.ucking kill me." I said with a roll of my eyes. Andrei stood then leaned over and took me by surprise when he scooped his arm up underneath my legs and hoisted me up bridal style.
"Put me down." I growled when he began to walk back towards the motel.
"Na." He bounced me in his arms making me clutch onto his shirt tightly.
"I said put me down." I said more firmly. Andrei looked at me with a hard, stern expression that silently told me to 'shut up or else'. I lay stiffly in his arms as he continued to carry me back to the motel. The coyote cried out again in its lonely howl, this time another sounded somewhere in the distance and both cried together.
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CHAPTER POSTED: JUNE 19, 2016
CHAPTER EDITED: -- -- --
