Tainted Redemption

Chapter thirty-five

He shrugged in response.

..

When we're in the kitchen he takes it as his duty to make breakfast since I was feeling a little drowsy and dizzy.

Sitting on the high stool, my hands intertwined together laying on the kitchen island while I watch how he silently prepares two tuna sandwiches, he felt my gaze, looking up at me questioningly but I didn't have anything to say, looking to the side casually. That brought the small grin on his face that made my heart swell when I stole glances his way...

Since I didn't like not doing anything, I strode to the kitchen cupboards, taking two plates, handing them to him, he looked distracted my way before returning to make a few layers on the sandwiches he was preoccupied with. Then I take two cups, sauntering to the fridge to take a pint with milk for me and for him orange juice.

Once I sat back down, I couldn't help but feel this nostalgic emotion... I've only once ever felt this. It was before Alice was.....

That's more of a reason to keep what I'm going to do for myself. It was hard to hold this secret to myself, but not impossible. Although I had to think about my little bean too, I just knew I would end up insane if Tim dies too...again my eyes pool but I could keep those down too.

With those heavy concerns of mine, I look at Zayn sadly.

He was just placing my plate before me, I watched his tattooed hand put it there, he stilled.

When I trailed my gaze up, he looks at me warily.

"Is everything alright?" he mumbled, eyes constricting.

"Yeah. Why?" I say back confidently.

He looks at me for a long time, then shook his head slightly, "Your mum told me you have those phases where you get sad and-"

"No, I'm alright."

"You sure?" he probed, staring with disbelief. I didn't like that he was trying to find out what I'm hiding, I have a feeling he's already getting suspicious and that was never a good thing.

I only nodded.

To distract myself, I push the glass with orange juice closer to him, he smiles at me lightly.

"Thank you."

I quirk my brow, "Oh, you say thank you now?"

He didn't do that like most would, he'd just give me a kiss on the cheek, that was his way of showing gratitude.

"I'm trying to impress you." He teased lightly, wiggling his eyebrows.

My heart thuds rapidly, trying not to smile, "Nice try." I dryly counter then.

He sighed heavily, drinking his juice grumpily, then took a big bite of his sandwich. I sip from my milk occasionally as well.

For a while I just stare at him eat since it looked like he couldn't eat well until now. His bright hair is flat on one side, then sticking up on the other while the sides were messy too.

When his eyes move to meet mine, I quickly look down, blushing, then want to eat my sandwich, but my nose scrunched at the scent. I scramble out and had to hold my hand over my mouth to not retch.

"Liv." Zayn called worriedly.

When I'm in the bathroom just before mum's room, I quickly get in, then I heaved out vomit. Soon dry retches of nothing clogging my throat like the tears which keep coming.