Tainted Redemption

Chapter twenty-six

Vote?

***

Rising from sleep to feel a sense of nausea over come me, then rushing to vomit all that I've eaten yesterday was a disgusting and unnerving way to wake up.

I knew I should eat to my potential and not more like I did yesterday...

My knees are aching from kneeling on them while I am hunching over the toilet, knuckles white from the grip I have on it. Flushing it quickly, it's the third time I had flushed, I then lean back and sit while wiping the tears that had escaped.

My whole body felt trampled, I could barely move or blink that's how tired I was.

This was awful, I was barely awake.

I press some more under my eyes to get the tears away...not a second later another heave made me lean forwards and gag out as I empty my insides some more...

When I finally had enough and felt like I was done, I flushed a last time, went to rinse my mouth with water in the sink, face and neck too while I stare at the ceiling to decompress the nerves of the nape on my neck. This sickness was nerve wrecking and emotionally exhausting me. I didn't know where the sudden nostalgic feelings came from but I feel my mood shift again and again... I stood right before the mirror some more, I didn't look pale, just exhausted and moody by the expression on my face.

After that I threw a mint in, strolling back to my bed, landing face first on it, then adjusting myself until I was comfortable. Since I was so exhausted I fell asleep immediately.

....

I had slept until noon.

And now I'm eating some crackers on the counter next to the sink because I was afraid to eat something else in fear of throwing up again. I need to stay hydrated too, so I gulped as much water as I could.

Not much later I'm thinking about Zayn, and how dad almost caught us yesterday... I understood that if I'd let him, he'd face dad, but that was something I feared too much. What if they end up kılling each other?

Nonetheless I knew that I had to come clean about this sooner or later.

There's a smile tracing my lips at the reminder of his sweet words yesterday...

Sighing I look around, leaning on my hand, elbow rested on the counter.

I had tried to ignore my grumbling stomach that suddenly wanted a salami sandwich with cheese and pickles... I hate pickles.

Against my better judgement, I was so going to regret that because of my stomach flu, I quickly made one and devoured it in less than ten minutes. And in the next ten minutes I was already rushing to the bathroom that is just down the hall, puking it out just as fast as I ate it...

The same procedure as I had done in the morning, cleaning and making myself feel fresh just now with more on my mind, then I get in the living room, pacing back and forth because I was slightly panicking from all the familiar symptoms I'm having.

Why was I lately all the time tired and have this weird metallic taste in my mouth? Why do I have cravings? Why can't I stand certain scents or food but love ones I used to hate? Why am I having morning sickness?

The only one that didn't fit was the bad cramps I had had but they vanished. What about the slight bleeding I was somewhat still having?

I didn't think about it much because I thought it occurred from the stress I have with everything around me. Trying to focus on my studies, get good grades, pass exams while hiding things from my boyfriend who owns a mob. I thought all this adds up on my stress.