Surviving or Living

Chapter 37: Jealousy

"These two?" Madison asked, crossing her arms on her chest.
Travis wrapped a arm around her shoulders.
"They're really big" he stated.
"And you're a lot" Michael said. "With these two houses there will be enough bedrooms for all of you."
Madison gasped a bit surprised.
"That's... A lot ! Thank you so much"
Michael shrugged his shoulders.
"Well there's more people than there's houses here so ..."
"Thank you" Travis said.
"I guess my friends and I will share one" Adam suggested, and looked at his friends who nodded in agreement.
"And we'll take the other" Daniel said. "So it's settled"
"I'll stay with Elyza" Alicia suddenly said, and Elyza raised an eyebrow.
"You don't want to stay with Bryan instead?" she mumbled in a low voice, and Alicia quickly turned her head to look at her girlfriend, frowning.
"What ?" She asked as she didn't understand what she just said.
"Nothing" Elyza sighed rolling her eyes, and walked toward the house where she will stay with her friends.
Alicia ran after her to catch her up.
"Elyza what's..."
She didn't finish her sentence, because Elyza opened the door and entered the house.
"Oh my god!" Alicia exclaimed looking around. "That's amazing!"
"Yeah, I was going to say the same thing" Elyza said in shock. "Some people have enough money to buy that, and meanwhile some are starving to death."
She quickly walked to the stairs while the others were entering the house, and climbed upstairs.
"Can I know what I did wrong?" Alicia asked following her.
"Nothing" Elyza said a bit bitterly, and entered a bedroom.
It was a big bedroom, with a king sized bed, a dressing room and a bathroom. There were also a dresser, a TV, a coffee table, a little sofa and two armchairs, and the whole room was vintage style. Alicia's jaw dropped at the view, and she quickly walked out of the room, Elyza watching her a bit confused, sitting down on the end of the bed.
"There is five other bedrooms in that house. And they're as big as this one !" Alicia exclaimed, entering back the bedroom.
"And ?" Elyza asked raising an eyebrow.
"Ok." Alicia sighed loudly, crossing her arms on her chest and glaring at her girlfriend. "What's the hell is going on?"
Elyza clenched her jaw, glaring back at Alicia.
"Is it about Bryan? Because I was talking to him?"
"You weren't talking, you were flirting" Elyza said bitterly.
"How can you be so stupid?" Alicia said almost yelling. "I will never do that to you."
"Really? Because that's not really what I saw !" Elyza yelled back, standing up.
"We were just. Talking."
"Yeah because every time I talk to a guy he caresses my skin! I wonder why your brother never did that to me. Or Chris"
Alicia didn't reply, she just stared at Elyza while her eyes were filling with tears.
"I thought you were dead" Alicia finally said in a low voice, loud enough for Elyza to hear her. The tears started to roll down on her cheeks, and her heart broke at the memory. For the first time in days, that terrible pain was back. "For two months, I thought you were dead and it destroyed me. Everyone wanted me to get better, to move on. But I couldn't. I ... I tried. But I couldn't. The only moment I felt that destroyed, that empty, it was after my father's death. Even after Matt I wasn't like that. I didn't know if I could get better. I didn't know if I could live without. I had no idea how I could manage to continue my screwed life, without you by my side. During two months, everyday I was doing my best to remember every features of your face, your voice, your accent. I was thinking about how you seem so focus when you draw, and how natural it seems for you to sing and to play guitar. I was trying to remember your laugh, you winking, you smirking, you smiling with your tongue between your teeth. I was remembering how you drive your motorcycle, how you use your guns as a badass girl, how you seem so stupidly fearless when you face the infected, and how you look extremely sexy when you smoke a cigarette, even if I hate when you do that. I was remembering all of the moments we shared, those moments when you saved my life, our first kiss, the first time we made love. I was always thinking about how your lips feel against mine and against my skin, how I feel when you caress my hair and my body, how good and safe I feel when you hug me, how happy I feel whenever you call me by my name or princess, and how incredibly happy I feel when I look into your wonderful blue eyes. I was so scared, I was terrified to forget everything, because I love you so much it's impossible to find words to describe it. And I thought you were dead. All I wanted. All I needed was you to come back. Everyday for two months, I was wishing you were with me." The words were said all of a sudden, and she didn't stop talking not even to take a breath. She said all she was feeling and thinking, all she had kept for herself, crying so loud her vision was blurry because of the tears. "I thought you were dead"
Elyza quickly wrapped her arms around Alicia before she could touch the floor, catching her as she was breaking down. She let herself fall on the floor with Alicia in a sitting position, her arms hugging her girlfriend tightly. Alicia was crying so hard her cheeks were totally wet, and Elyza hid her face in her hair, crying too. Her heart broke at the thought that Alicia loved her so much she couldn't live without her. She knew that living without Alicia would be impossible for her. But she didn't know that Alicia actually felt exactly the same way, and that she had been mourning her during two months with the only way to move on by finding her alive. She bit the inside of her lip, taking a deep breath into her lover's hair. In twenty two years, someone finally wanted her, or more exactly needed her to live. And this thought made her smile. It was the first time it happened to her, and this made her incredibly happy.
"You don't like it when I smoke?" She finally asked.
Alicia laughed, and she pulled away to look at Elyza in the eyes, taking a deep breath to stop the tears.
"It's unhealthy" she said with a little smile. "And the smell is disgusting"
"Alright then" Elyza sighed, pretending to be disappointed. "I'll try to stop"
Then she took a deep breath, the seriousness back on her face.
"I'm sorry I doubted you. But trust me, this guy doesn't want to just be friend with you."
"Fine" Alicia sighed. "If it can make you feel better, I'll stay away from him."
Elyza shook her head no.
"Just be careful. I love you so much, I don't want anything bad to happen to you."
"I will" Alicia nodded, then leaned back against Elyza, resting her head on her shoulder.
Elyza wrapped her arms around her girlfriend and kissed her on her forehead. Then they stayed like this for a big part of the rest of the day.

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Author's note
Hi :) please comment to let me know what you think :)