She's silent for
a long moment
after,
worrying at her
bottom lip
with her teeth
in a familiarly
nervous habit.
"It...
It wasn't on
purpose,"
she finally gets out.
"I've been...
busy-"
"Yeah -
busy ignoring me."
I don't want
to hurt her,
but my anger
and frustration
is getting to be
too hard
to restrain.
"If you don't want
to talk to me
any more,
just tell me
the truth
instead of
leaving me
in the dark!"
I can feel
the eyes of
almost everyone else
in the room
staring us down, now -
but I can't
bring myself
to care.
Let them create their
useless gossip
about this -
I just want
Matty back.
I just want her
to understand
that abandoning me won't
be as easy
as she might have thought.
"That's not it,"
she mumbles
helplessly,
turning her
dark, weary eyes
up to me.
"Cam, please -
it's nothing to do
with you..."
"Then what's
stopping you
from talking to me?
And don't tell me
it's something that
you can't tell me -
because I've had
enough
of not knowing
what's going on
with you
and being forced to
pretend
that everything is okay.
I'm sick of it-"
"I am, too!"
she blurts out.
"But I
can't
help it.
I want
to tell you,
I really do-"
"Then why
can't you?"
She abruptly
quiets, then -
and I can almost
feel
the door slamming shut
between us,
the floodgates closing
on her once
overflowing emotions,
sluicing them away
into a place that
I can't reach.
She's retreated
back into herself;
I've lost her,
I realize,
once and
for all.
"Because,"
she answers
softly -
but with an edge
and a finality
that I can't understand.
"Because I...
I'm scared.
I just -
I can't do this,
Cam -
don't you see that?"
And with that,
she turns
and disappears,
taking with her
my heart,
my happiness -
everything that she had
given me upon
walking into
my life,
and had now
ripped away upon
walking out
of it.
×
(This is supposed to be the tear-jerker part, by the way. If y'all don't cry, I legitimately will eat my hat. Like, my work hat. The one that smells like greasy burgers and coffee. Ew.)
If you guys liked this chapter, I would love if you would vote and leave me some feedback below! It would be much appreciated! c:
Also, who wants to go on a rampage to yell at Matty with me, 'cause she seriously needs to stop killing her relationships with people. Cam didn't do anything. Wtf you doin', girl...
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Misalignment | ✔
Teen Fiction"There are a million shades of grey between their black and their white - but no one ever cares to see them." In a world with a limited view of gender, Cam Shills struggles to come to terms with their identity as neither male nor female, a shade of...
