Deadly love (BMTH & OM&M FanFic)

Chapter 11

After the show everyone went out to celebrate, i stayed behind. I just wanted to be alone, but that didnt last long.

Austin walked into the bunk room and layed in the bunk across from mine.

"Ive been thinking, Alice. A lot actually." He just looked up.

"About what?" I was looking at him.

"You, me, friendship, everything."

"You dont want to be friends, you dont understand."

"Oh. I understand Alice perfectly." He looked at me and got up and moved to my bunk. "I understand that you love him and hate me, i understand that ill never be good enough for you, i understand that ill always love you."

I just stared at him. Didnt blink, couldnt break, just stared.

Then he kissed me. I pushed, he forced. His hands would move places, id push more and he would force more, till he was ontop of me ripping my clothes off. I didnt give up i keept fighting then he hit me again. Worst then last time this time almost knocking me out. I got dizzy and weak. Next thing i know i was getting raped by someone who once used to be my best friend, someone who i did indeed actually love, but not love the way he wanted.

I layed there crying, Austin took a shower. I was dead inside.

The guys came back 2 hours later. Happy and drunk. I left and found a near by park. I sat on the swings in the cool air, no one around, no one to hear me crying, no one to save me. I was once again alone in this.

I felt dirty, unwanted, hated.

I sat there for awhile then finally went back to the bus. When i opened the door everyone was asleep, but Oli.

"Where have you been." He got up and walked over to me.

"No where." I whispered i could barley talk.

"We have been so distant lately, we dont talk haveny had sex in months, you barley even look at me or anything." He was mad, he deserved to be he was right.

"I just have a lot on my mind." Was all i could say.

"Alice. You're not telling me things. Im scared and worried."

"Dont be."

"I know about your past."

I stared at him.

"What?" How would he know about my past. The hospital, the cuts, the thoughts.

"I talked to your mom and dad." He admitted. He just looked at the ground.

"When?"

"A few months ago."

"Why didnt you tell me?" I was mad. How could they do that, my personal life, my business, my terrible memory.

"What was I suppose to say Alice. Hey i know you tried to kill yourself. The real question is why you never told me."

"Its not something im proud of." I started yelling.

"Alice i know it's not but maybe you should have told me so you never fell down again." We were yelling now.

Everyone was awake now, but no one dared to walk out.

I ended up leaving again going back to the park. I sat on the same swing and cried more. I need to cut i thought i need it. So i went to the store bought some blades and welcomed myself back to my old friend.