Annabel [h.s.]

nine

Annabel sighed in content as she looked out to the sea, her feet dangling over the cliff's edge and her mind dangerously close to making her jump. There wasn't ever anything wrong with her life, but she was always in a state of gray.

Sure, sometimes she had fun and enjoyed herself, but something was always missing and she couldn't quite put her finger on what it was. When Harry showed up in the middle of a hurricane, she thought that there was something about him that could change her because it was clear that he was similar. However, he only seemed to serve as a temporary distraction.

The red helped, Annabel accepted that murder was something that made her feel in ways that she hadn't been able to before. But, there was still a part of her that felt gray and each day she found herself wanting it to go away with a renewed and invigorated passion.

Harry didn't seem to notice, even though recently he had become attached to her. He probably saw it now that she left, but it didn't matter because she didn't care. She was just trying to fix herself without complicating things further than she already had.

Being around Harry helped, but it also complicated things in a way she hadn't ever planned. So, she left. Harry was probably beyond pissed because he was always angry when she left, but Annabel knew that he would get over it. That is, if she came back.

Sweden was a beautiful place, full of entrancing people and hypnotizing landscapes, but it wasn't enough like she thought it would be. Every day, Annabel followed a routine where she would go to class and learn Swedish, sit in a coffee shop and read for a few hours, go to a yoga class, stumble around until she found a nice looking place for diner, and then head to the cliffs to watch the sun set.

She was at peace, but she still wasn't happy. The colors still looked dull. And, the worst part was that she missed the color of his eyes. Green had never been her favorite, but his green was different. There was something about the way that it changed with his moods and what he wore, something hidden beneath the surface that gave away the man beneath the mask and drew her in despite her desire to stay away.

The man was entrancing, she would give him that. He could be rude, he could be an asshole, he could be crazy, but he was still drawing her in. A light breeze blew her hair around in wild directions and sent a shiver down her spine.

Annabel closed her eyes and listened to the waves as they lapped against the rocks in a steady rhythm. This wouldn't be a bad place to die.

She sat like that for a while, breathing deeply and letting her senses become consumed with the natural world. If she jumped, she thought, she would become part of this beautiful place and that would be more than alright with her.

Annabel opened her eyes and stared out over the waves. The fading rays of light were cooling dramatically, but they still held on to their beauty as they sank into the skyline. Her death wouldn't make a difference in the world, but it would make a difference in hers.

She wouldn't have to feel gray all the time and she wouldn't have to try to make herself feel like a human being anymore. Death was a fitting escape, one that would silence her discontented mind and finally put all of her faults to rest.

Slowly, she stood, her eyes drifting to the dark, churning waters below. Annabel released one final deep breath and jumped.

Goodbye, green eyes.

As she fell, everything took on a lighter quality. She was weightless and suddenly everything fell into place. This was where she wanted to be and she wasn't afraid.

In only a few moments, frigid water encased every part of her body. Her heart stopped at the impact, only to kick into overdrive seconds later. Everything was dark, but it was quiet and it was calm and Annabel didn't mind the water that seemed to slice at her skin with every wave.