Obsessed

Chapter 51

I feel like my heart has stopped beating. Like the whole world has stopped. I don't know what has come over me, but... I think I'm kissing him back. That is until the kiss is about to be deepened and he draws me closer. Then I realise what's going on. For a split second, I forgot who he was.

I put my hands on his chest and push him back. "Toby." I say warningly.

"That's a real kiss."

"I didn't need a demonstration." I step back but the railing is in the way. "And my first one was with Kyle. Your cousin. Don't forget that."

He shakes his head and steps back. Then he grins. "Good news, you're over your little complication."

He's right. My panic attack has dissolved and, not including my hands shaking, I'm alright. "You shouldn't have done that."

"Why not? You and Kyle are over."

"You took advantage of my vulnerability. You can't just do that."

"I'm sorry, I thought it would be good for you."

"Well you thought wrong." I step away to walk off but he pulls my arm back. "What!?" I snap.

His eyes lock on mine. He looks almost guilty. I feel bad for breaking. I let my desolation over Kyle control my reaction. 

"Kristen, I didn't mean to-"

"Look, it's fine. Just... don't do that again." I say with less conviction. My head hurts from all this. The drama, the anxiety, the hurt, the loss.

"You know me, I wouldn't ever do anything to upset you. I'm sorry."

"How well do I know you?"

"I could tell you more."

"Ok." I say, desperate for some sort of distraction.

A stone bench, matching the stone from the railing, presents itself from the other side of the balcony. We sit beside each other on the bench. "Alright. So I grew up at Aubry Coast with my family..."

He starts explaining but things get dark after Gracie's birth. "So my mum was pregnant with the third baby, Gracie liked to call him Freddie. In my mums eighth month of pregnancy, my dad was arrested for being in possession of illegal substances. When he was in prison, my mum went into labour a month prematurely. She and Freddie died in child birth. Gracie and I were living with my grandfather then. When dad got out of prison four years later, Grandpa died of cancer. Dad had to look after us even though he didn't want to. On Gracie's birthday I decided to take her to the zoo to cheer her up. I wasn't watching the road and..."

"It's ok. You don't need to-"

"And we had an accident. Gracie... she didn't make it. I had a broken rib, same one as now, but that's it. I got out of it unscratched. Physically, at least. Then I moved here. When Kyle asked to live with me, I thought it would be great. I wouldn't be alone."

"Toby..."

"It's fine."

"Your dad is still at Aubry Coast?"

"Yeah. He calls sometimes. Rarely. He doesn't hate me or anything. He's just suffering. He couldn't go to mums funeral. I think he was arrested again. I haven't heard from him for about six months."

"At least you're alive." I say, looking for something to change the topic to.

"No. I'm surviving."

***

Friday's used to be a good day. When I was at school, I was excited for the weekend. When I wasn't at school, I was excited to go out with my friends and Kyle. But now I have nothing to be excited about. I spend the day in bed staring at the ceiling.