Bye, Bye Virginity

Chapter - 19

"I am not being immature!"

I dragged myself out of bed and began to head towards my mirror, fearing what I see in the mirror would echo how I was feeling. At first I stood there with my eyes closed, taking slow deep breaths trying hard to gain enough courage to just open them up and look at my reflection.

"Derrek...I told you not to invite her to the party, and what did you do? You invited her anyways!"

I peeled my eyes open as I began to adjust to the sight in front of me. My hair was a scrambled mess on top my head as dried up blood matted my hair together in dark clumps. I reached up to feel the slight gash on top the goose egg, which had emerged out of my head. An instant replay of being tossed to the ground and smashing my head made me to tremble. My left cheek was swollen and discoloured as the memory of Liam smacking me across the face flashed through my mind. I could see the skin on my neck darkened into the shape of his chubby little hand as the feeling of not being able to breathe came back to me.

"You're sorry?! That's it? Okay where is he, Derrek? Where is Liam?!....Fine! I'll find him myself, you good for nothing piece of shit!"

The sound of something smashing against the wall in my brothers room instantly reminded me of Damen smashing against the door urgently trying to get in as I was being dragged across the room by my hair. In that exact second the tears began to gush out as I fell to the floor. All of last night's flashback memories were becoming too much to bear and my body marked with reminders of the events that occurred.

The past sixteen years of my life have been boring and completely safe and predictable. No real happiness or sadness, it was merely a life of neutral nothingness. I barely remember ever actually crying although the past week it seemed that's all I had been doing. I never thought when the time finally came that I made friends that I would want everything to go back to the way it was. But I did - I missed the non-dramatic, overly boring life I lived only a mere week ago.

I laid on my bedroom floor my hands covering my face crying from my very soul. My cries grew louder and louder as every second passed. I felt broken.

Suddenly my bedroom door flung open as I turned to look at my brother standing in the door way. In his hand he held the handset of his telephone, the cord hanging loosely from where it had been pulled out of the base. At first I continued to cry though as my eyes settled on Trent longer, I couldn't help but cough out a laugh.

He looked down at me with such a worried expression, as if there were something wrong with me and yet he was the one standing there with a broken phone in his hand and a red hot face. In some twisted way it amused me that he and I were such a train wreck. My brother was usually so in control of his emotions, calm and steady able to cope with practically anything. I just had no reasons to feel any emotions before. Ever since I decided to break out of my shell of loneliness and join the real world I have turned Trent into an overly protective brother, while I seemed to be nothing more than bipolar and depressed.

"Are you okay?" Trent whispered as he walked into my room. I nodded my head trying to swallow the large lump in my throat. "I'm going to kill him, Stasee." His voice was full of animosity.

"No...Trent, just leave it be...please." I pleaded as I began to get to my feet.

"But look at you; he can't just get away with that!"

"But that's the thing Trent, he can." I walked over to my closet trying to ignore him. "Just drop it okay."

"But Stasee-"

"Trent, please!"

He finally gave up but not without storming out of my bedroom angrily and slamming the door shut behind him. I sighed heavily before going to my bathroom and jumping into the shower attempting to once again forget all of last night's events.

I decided to wear something a little more casual today, not the little kid-baggy outfits I used to wear but neither was it anything like my yesterdays outfit. I choose a nice pair of blue jeans with a perfectly fitted yellow t-shirt. There was no extra skin showing but the outfit did outline all my curves giving me a more natural beauty rather than a forced one. My hair was pulled back into a messy pony tail with strands of hair falling out and I decided to boycott makeup wanting to embrace a more natural look.

I looked in the mirror as a smile appeared on my face. Ignoring the fact that my cheek and neck were bruised I actually looked good. It was a more in-between look and evidently I liked it. I wasn't overly trying but I definitely was trying a little more than I used to - giving me a more matured natural beauty.

The sound of a vehicle peeling out of my driveway forced me to run to the spare bedroom across the hall to look out the window. I saw my brother's Chevy zooming down the street as my heart began to accelerate. I knew where he was going and I knew it couldn't be good.

I ran back to my room and grabbed my phone quickly dialing Trent's cell phone number. It rang and continued to ring unanswered finally going to voice mail.

Thinking quickly I looked through our caller display to find Derrek's number. I knew that's where Trent would be heading.

"I thought you never wanted to talk to me again." Derrek's voice answered the phone sounding amused.

"I think Trent's going to kill Liam!" I almost yelled into the phone.

"Stasee?"

It was at that moment that I realized that I didn't blame Liam for what he did to me, I blamed myself. If I hadn't decided to change my appearance and try to look like Candise and the Crew then maybe Liam wouldn't have forced himself on me. I had got so caught up with trying to pay Damen back that I had stooped so low as to dress up like a slut.

The girls in McLennan that dress the way I did yesterday are the type to give themselves freely to any guy. Liam was far past drunk last night and though what he did was wrong, I still blamed myself for it. He did deserve to be beaten up for hitting me but honestly I did not wish death upon him.

"Did you hear me?!" I said panicked, "Trent is going to your house to kill Liam!"

Derrek laughed into the phone which made me realize why Trent threw his phone against the wall.

"This is serious!" I yelled angrily.

"Calm down ya' grouch. No one's at my house right now, I'm on my way to school and Liam has gone on a much needed vacation."

"What?!" I asked confused.

"Well, when Liam woke up this morning and realized what he did, he decided to go visit with his aunt in California until things...settle down a bit. I think he knew your brother would be going after him."

"Oh."

"So I'm guessing you need a ride to school?"

"What? Oh...I didn't even think about-"

"I'll be there in five minutes." He cut me off before hanging up.

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