All these things that I would do

I'm here

"Julie? Julie are you there? Are you okay?"

Derrick opened Julie's door and found her crying her life out. She was speaking to someone over the phone. This puzzled Derrick, as she was in a hurry earlier to go back to her apartment. May nakalimutan lang naman siya di ba? Anong nakalimutan niya? Katinuan? It wasn't easy to date someone like Julie. She's a celebrity, and she has these mood swings that would make Derrick crumble on his feet. But he is ready to swallow all of her mood swings just so he could get a kiss from her.

When he told her that his best friend from college will arrive in Manila, he was bombarded with Julie's questions. Is he married? Does he have a girlfriend? Nagkabalikan ba sila nung ex niya? He told her the story of Alden when they saw his photo on one of Derrick's album in their Marikina family home. This was the first time Julie asked him questions after questions. Derrick shrugged it off, thinking that maybe, Alden's story weirded her out that's why she's being like this.

"Julie? Si Derrick to. Are you okay?"

"--Pero ikaw ang mahal niya. Sana mapatawad mo ako--" Julie dropped her phone and started to sob again. Derrick approached her and rubbed her back. Her eyes are swelling and she's having a hard time to breathe. Julie hugged him, he hugged her back.

"Derrick, I'm sorry."

"It's okay."

"Si Alden. Siya yung--"

"I know. "

"You knew?"

"Yes. When you started asking me questions about Alden, I started asking questions, too. I did my research, you see? Turns out that you were room mates with Maine two years ago. I found some of Maine's letters when I cleaned your room a few months ago."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Why should I? Julie, it's your thing. When I courted you, sabi ko, tatanggapin ko ang lahat lahat. I'm damn serious about this relationship. Handa ako, kahit na alam ko na may ginawa ka na hindi maganda sa kaibigan ko. Hindi ko lang nagawang sabihin kaagad kay Alden because I want him to meet you first. I want him to know that you are an amazing, exceptional woman. Gusto kong malaman niya na hindi ka lang talented, mabuting tao ka rin. Gusto kong malaman ni Alden na mahal kita."

"But Derrick, I'm flawed. Eto nga o, tingnan mo. Pilit kong pinaghiwalay si Alden at ang kaibigan ko. Take note, Derrick, kaibigan ko siya. Si Maine! Si Maine na tumulong sa akin para marating ko kung anong meron ako ngayon. Derrick, masama akong tao. Dapat sa akin kinikidlatan. Dapat sa akin, hindi minamahal." 

"Lahat naman nababaliw sa pag-ibig. Iba-ibang degree nga lang. Ako. Baliw din ako sa pag-ibig ko sayo. I can see past your flaws, because I love you. I don't care if you schemed all of these, but Julie, mahal kita. Alden is a good guy, he can forgive you one day. And Maine, she's a good friend. Forgive yourself, Julie. And please, this time, hear me out. Mahal kita, okay?"

"Why are you so nice to me? Why do you even put up with me? Derrick, I'm such a mess. Why do you even love me?"

"Because you're just as messed up as I am."

Julie hugged Derrick. Maybe, she shouldn't be loved at all. Masama siya tao. Madamot siya. Maybe, this is the right time to forget everything about the past. Maybe it's time to live and let go. She's one lucky girl to have this guy to accept her for who she is.

Thank you, Derrick.
Sorry Maine.
Sorry Alden.
I was a bitch, I hope you find a place in your heart to forgive me for what I have done.

           
                --------------------------

Well, Nicomaine, there is no looking back now.
Baka naman man nang-good time lang sa akin kaya ko nakuha yung letter from Alden.
Kasi alam ko hindi niya ako napatawad sa ginawa kong pang-iwan sa kanya.
Hindi na nga siya nagparamdam.
Hindi man lang niya hinanap kung nasaan ako.
Bigla na lang siyang nawala.

Julie calling...

"Julietta! Ano nasaan ka na? Akala ko ba ihahatid mo ako ngayon sa airport?"

"Maine, Maine I'm sorry, sana mapatawad mo ako sa ginawa ko. Hindi ko napigilan ang sarili ko. Mahal ko din kasi siya Maine. Sorry talaga, sorry... Sorry. Maine I'm sorry."

"Julie? Bakit? Bakit ka umiiyak? Huy ano ba yan, bakit ka nagsosorry?"

"Hindi ka iniwan ni Alden, Maine. Hindi ko  binigay yung sulat mo sa kanya nung umalis ka papuntang London. Sorry, Maine. Kasalanan ko ang lahat, kasalanan ko."

"I don't understand, Julie. Hindi mo binigay kay Alden yung sulat?"

"Oo, Maine. Hindi ko binigay, kasi gusto ko din si Alden. Pati yung ibang sulat mo sa kanya, hindi ko din ibinigay. Maine, mahal ko din si Alden. Pero ikaw ang mahal niya. Sana mapatawad mo ako--"

The line git cut off. Though Julie's revelation to her was marred by her constant sobbing, he never left me? Where is he now? Julie's words were enough to make Maine feel wobbly on the knees. She sat down and cried. Hindi na akong pwedeng umatras sa Japan. Hindi na rin babalik si Alden. Hindi ko alam kung saang lupalop ng mundo siya ngayon.

"Maine."

She felt the presence approaching from her back. The mere presence of the owner of the voice sent shivers on Maine's spine. How she wanted to hear that voice again. How she wanted to be enveloped by that presence again. All that was left from Maine's strength has completely disappeared. Her quiet sobbing became audible. She was using her luggage for support. She doesn't even have the strength to turn to the direction of where the voice is. All she knew was she has waited this long, too long, to hear him say her name again.

"Kung hindi ikaw si Alden, I swear to God ihahampas ko sayo itong maleta ko."