Your dog will thank you for not blaming him yet again! :)
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1. I thought it was a letter and accidentally mailed it to my Grandma Annie overseas.
2. Aliens took it as a sample of human handwriting.
3. Buffalo Bill from “The Silence of the Lambs” mistook it for a piece of human flesh and stole it to add to his collection.
4. I let somebody copy it and they never gave it back.
5. It spontaneously combusted and vaporized.
6. The FBI confiscated it because they claimed it was vital evidence.
7. I was pet-sitting Mike Tyson’s tiger and it escaped from my bathroom and ate my homework.
8. I gave it to a homeless man to help him insulate his cardboard box.
9. Katie Holmes mistook it for one of her divorce papers and signed a hole right through it.
10. My little sister wanted to prove she could shoot an arrow as well as Katniss Everdeen and decided to use my homework as the target.
11. My pen ran out of ink so I decided to go buy another one. I got lost on the way back and was eventually taken home by a tourist who fortunately had a map. When I tried the pen though, it was a dud and I couldn’t go buy another one or I would probably never get home.
12. I found the assignment to be uninspiring, so I read a book about the life of Mother Teresa instead.
13. I got soap in my eyes and went blind until just now.
14. I didn’t want to add to my teacher’s heavy workload.
15. Usain Bolt sprinted past me, causing a sudden gust of wind that propelled the assignment from my hand.
16. V thought it was so well written, he decided to use it as propaganda for his revolution.
17. A bunch of nerds stole it to make sure theirs were completely perfect.
18. We ran out of toilet paper at my house last night, and my Dad isn't feeling so good. He grabbed it in a big rush and I haven't seen it since.
19. My house is being fumigated and I don't want to go in there and suffocate just to get it.
20. I put it in the safe, but lost the combination.
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GONE ARE THE DAYS WHEN WE HAD NO EXCUSES!!!! :)
