one hundred nineteen

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It has been six long months since I wrote here.

How did I come so far as to not write anything when all I've known is to write to you so I can simply cope?

Maybe it's from the fact that I'm hurting less. Maybe it's from the fact that the evil impression I made of you is slowly dissipating. That I'm slowly understanding why you did what you've done. That I'm starting to grow grateful that you exist, that you were there that day to save me, that you stopped hurting everyone and yourself because you know it in your heart that I was your friend and I would never destroy what you had, that none of us wanted any of this to happen.

And that I still am the friend you believed you lost.

You're okay now, the ghost of your voice tells me.

You're only just a memory now.

I can finally breathe.

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