Paper Flowers (Pretty Plastic People) ★

004. Valentine's Day (Alone)

"But why Liam?" Her voice has grown quiet as she hands me back the flowers. She doesn't look mad, just shocked. "What about Spencer?"

"I have no chance with Spencer." It's one of the only honest things I've said all morning, but I'm not ashamed. I know I can't tell Cassidy the truth, because even though she's my best friend, I can't trust her completely. And at Aquino High, to lose your reputation is to lose everything.

Cassidy chews down on her lip like she wants to argue with me but knows it's a hopeless case. After all, I'm right: Spencer and me together is like Brynn deciding she's in love with Luke Horton the Star Wars fanatic. It would never work.

I've grown too quiet. Cassidy gently takes the bouquets of roses from me and hands me my calculus textbook instead. "Go to class," she says gently, putting the roses in my locker so the petals don't get crushed. "We can talk more about this later."

I take my calculus textbook with numb arms and follow her down the hallway. Deep, deep inside me, something in my stomach twitches, like maybe I'm a little bit guilty about lying to my best friend. But I shove it down deeper into my gut so that I can't feel it at all. After all, I can't afford to have any regret.

When I sit down in my normal seat in calculus class, I see that Allison is sitting with an enormous bouquet of flowers on her desk. She's dressed up more than usual today, and a swanky gold watch that looks brand-new is clasped around her wrist. I want to snap at her for buying that, because Dad makes us share an allotted amount of spending money each month and she doesn't need to waste it on expensive frivolousness. Before I can stand, though, someone taps me on my shoulder.

"Yeah?" I ask, turning around to face Spencer. He's got his calculus homework spread out on his desk and his frowning a little, his thick lips turned downwards slightly. My heart skips an extra beat and I clutch the rail that connects my chair to my desk so that I stay calm.

"Do you understand what's going on in calc class right now?" he asks.

I wonder if this is a trap, if Allison somehow blackmailed him into figuring out how I'm doing in calculus so that she can gain an advantage over me. My eyes swivel over to my twin but she's too busy talking to the boy sitting in the seat next to her.

"Yeah, I do," I say, turning back to Spencer. And that's not a lie. I'm actually having an easier time than usual comprehending what we're doing in the class.

"Even what our test is on next week? The improper integrals and everything?"

"Yes..." I really want to look at Allison again, but I refrain. "Why?"

His blue eyes settle on me for a few seconds, and for once they don't look unattainable or like the same eyes I think about twenty-four/seven. They just look really vulnerable. "I have no clue what I'm doing, and I can't fail the test," he explains, his voice a few notches deeper than usual because he's talking so quietly. "Do you think you can help me out?"

"I guess," I say.

Mrs. Rutledge stands from her desk and heads to the front of the room, announcing that she's collecting the homework as she walks. Spencer grabs the previous night's worksheet from under his textbook and passes it forward to me, whispering, "Cold Front at three thirty?"

I don't know how many awkward encounters inside the frozen yogurt shop I can stand, but I nod. As I pass Mrs. Rutledge Spencer's and my worksheets, I swear I can feel his bright eyes staring into the back of my head.

When calculus class ends I'm the first one out the door, scurrying to my next class with my backpack still hanging off of one shoulder so I don't have to talk to anyone. For some reason I don't have anything else to say to Spencer, and even though I usually linger to fall into step with him on the way to our next class, today I can't face him. I have no idea what led him to suggest we go to Cold Front after school, and now I'm afraid.