Supernovas & Escapism

Chapter Seven

      There is no life without dissonance. No serenity without chaos.

     I've gotten this far without complaining about the need for some perfect life. Given the opportunity, I can't say that I wouldn't go out and grab it. The harsh reality of my life was that anything had to be better than this.

     Under any normal family circumstances, it should have been the duty of one of my parents to pick me up from school, like they probably should. Instead I was bustled into the beat up station wagon of my aunt Rosaline, a sister of my father, who was eerily calm whenever he was mentioned.

     She was a nice woman, far nicer than most people I knew. Somehow she could look onto this world with such a calm and clear head, and smile. It was always one of those genuine and honest ones. Never did it feel like she did anything out of malice. She was one of the good ones; the people in this world who actually gave a damn. It killed me to know that she was of a dying breed, slowly becoming the way of the dinosaurs.

     The hope for a better tomorrow rested softly on her face as she turned the key in the ignition. She leaned over and did my own seatbelt before pulling out of the lot.

     Right now I could barely make anything out. Streets blurred in front of me, and my head was too heavy to even think about it. The fountain of blood that had been leaking from my nose earlier had stopped, but everything still felt sore.

     "So niño," she started, her voice brimming with unwavering uncertainty, "What happened this time?"

     Slowly, I turned away from her. Not because I was trying to make a dramatic turn, but because I was seventy percent sure that I'd broken at least one rib. I didn't want to talk about it with her. She was so lovely and encouraging that she'd probably just tell me to get back on the horse and take it in stride. This was not the first time she'd seen me like this, and I was doubtful that it would be the last time.

     Answering her questions would have probably bought me a minute of peace; one granted where my aunt was far too busy plotting out her next question. But I knew the rules off by heart now.

     Silence was golden.

     My aunt had never had children of her own. She could never understand the complexities of a teenagers mind. Despite being one herself long ago, it never truly felt like she'd ever been one. It was hard to imagine this indomitable woman as anything but a safe-haven; a respite from the bitter words and concrete fists that were the daily.

     "That bad, huh?"

     It seemed pointless to say anything right now.

     What was there to say? What could I say?

     My cries for help were me acting out of character. But no one knew who I was. No one could see what was happening, even the person who I trusted most in this world right now. I'd spent so long alienating myself, and feeling like trash that it's all people seen me as. I'd wave a sign above my head if I could, but there was a constant doubt of disbelief that dragged its knuckles.