Bye, Bye Virginity

Chapter - 17

The only sound that seemed to reach my ears were our individual heartbeats pounding against our chests and our heavy breathing as the kiss began to deepen. As Damen pressed his lips harder against mine, pleasure exploded inside me. The tingles that had begun in my lips expanded throughout my entire body. The last couple days I had built up so much resentment toward Damen and self-loathing for being so weak. Not once though could I deny myself what I truly wanted, which was this.

I hated Damen after everything he had done to me and deep down there was an unreleased anger toward him but no matter how much I tried to unleash it there was something else fighting against the anger, something stronger. It was something I vaguely recognized from movies I'd watched and books I've read except it was a feeling I was completely new to. There was no other explanation as I just then realized I had truly fallen completely in love with Damen.

Damen's hand began drawing light circles on the back of my neck which automatically made me shutter with sheer pleasure. My arm joined my other one around his waist as I pulled him harder against me leaving no space between us. We fit together perfectly, like we were specifically made to fit into each other's arms.

Even though, I could still hear a faint voice in the depths of my mind, yelling at me to pull away. That this was not safe and I was only setting myself up for more pain, more hurt and more misery. Nice self-talk going on inside my head, I had to ignore the senile bitch and go with the pleasure principle instead!

Damen pulled away for only an instant and yet that instant felt to me like an eternity. He lowered his head as he began nibbling on my ear sending me into pure ecstasy. The pleasurable tickling he was doing on my ear over powered the voice in my head and silenced her. Stupid cow she's getting in the way of my happiness! I could feel my hands clenching onto his back and could faintly hear my moans of pleasure though my mind had become nothing more than a cloudy haze as I sat knelt in the grass enjoying every electrifying touch from Damen.

"Wait..." Damen pulled away breathing heavily, "We need to talk first..."

"Hmmm?" I sat there in a daze barely even realizing he was talking. I didn't want to talk but instead wanted to just feel his body heat against mine and I didn't want the addictive feel good sensations to stop.

"Stasee," He whispered as his breathing was beginning to even out. He hesitated, debating on whether or not to finish his thought. I really didn't care - I just wished he would stop talking so we could get back to what we were doing. "I need to know, what has gotten into you today? I need to know if this is a permanent thing."

"What do you mean?" I spoke softly. I was still too distracted by wanting him and his pleasurable heat.

"The new clothes? New attitude? Flirting with Derrek and coming to this party?" His eyes were full of disappointment, "This isn't you Stasee, you're not like these people, you're better than this, than them."

The absence of his touch cleared my head as the dreamy haze disappeared and I was finally able to make sense of what he was saying. I can't exactly explain why but his accusation of actually 'knowing me' made me angry as my eyes changed from loving to furious in an instant. I know I might have been overreacting but the fact that both Damen and Trent continued to act as if me coming to this 'party' was like God hanging out in Hell was infuriating! I was a teenager like everyone else and even though most of my sixteen years were completely isolated, I no longer wanted it to be like that. I wanted to be like a normal teenage girl!

I quickly stood to my feet which released me from Damen's embrace, leaving me feeling alone and incomplete. Every part of my body ached and craved for his touch but somehow I managed to hold myself together and keep my composure.