Love Letters to the Possibly Broken and the Strangely Unforgotten

December 10, 2015

#16 December 10, 2015

Dear Honest Subtleties,

I woke up thinking about you today. Thinking about your job and if you were working or if, somehow, I would come across you today. I had to get up and shower quickly to scrub off any remnants of you. It didn't help. I scrubbed, and scrubbed, and scrubbed. But with no avail. I don't like thinking about you because it makes my heart hurt and my brain seize. I want it to stop so that I can live my life without looking through tinted glasses.
I lied before; I'm not getting over you. I want to. Oh, do I want to. But I can't stop picturing your face when she runs her hands through your hair or your smile when someone makes a joke about the liberty bell. That is one of my favorite memories of you. In Lit we were studying the Anglo-Saxons. Therefore, we all shared the answers to them so that we could all get extra credit. Yours was the Liberty Bell. We all knew yours was the Liberty Bell. Except for the teacher, that is. Now, whenever it's brought up, you swear at all of us. Whenever you swear, it's very strange. Like those words are so foreign coming out of your mouth. But, even so, it's so undeniably hot. I think that one of the things I like most about you is that I know you cannot be perfect. And when you swear or get angry or cry, it reminds me that I'm right. You aren't perfect. And I love that. The perfectly imperfect is what I live for. Not to be taken as I live for you. Because that's false. Obviously.
I stopped in at Neilson's today, the strange, small shop that you work at. I never realized the amount of strange things that they sold. Does anyone really need that many rubber ducks? I don't think so. Your entire face lit up when I walked in, and I took a breath of relief knowing that you were there. I would have felt ridiculous if I came all the way to the other side of town and you weren't even working. I had to buy something so that I didn't look like I just wandered in, so I bought a "Happy Birthday!" balloon. As I was checking out, you casually went through the motions and not so casually mentioned that your birthday was not too long ago. I think I exclaimed "oh happy late birthday!" a little too excitedly. You blushed a little, and then I gave you the balloon. I'm sure you were extremely confused, but that wasn't the point. I probably blubbered out something about how the party I'm going to is for a kid anyway and they don't care. I cannot express how glad I am that you didn't ask me anything more about that "party." I was about to leave when you called after me, saying that you get off in twenty minutes. You wanted to get lunch. Oh my soul. Noodles and Company it was. And it was even better than last time. You made jokes about your family and I explained why mine was so strange. We talked about our friends and our enemies and our families and I feel like I've been accepted into something I never thought I'd see. You. I can't wait to see what the future holds. As for now, I'm looking out my window at the lake, because, well, it's southeast Wisconsin and everyone can see the lake from here, and am thinking about the week ahead of me. I hope that it doesn't end in ruin, but I have an aching feeling about this, no matter how good today was.

Love,
The Girl with the Excited Dread

Author's Note:
Hey guys! Believe it or not, this story is about half way through. I'm still shocked about the fact that I have actually finished something for once. Do you think that the writer will really be able to move on? Anyone dying to know what the characters' names
really are? Let me know in the comments!