I Want To Do Bad Things With You (BoyxBoy)

(6) I Want To Do Bad Things With You (BoyxBoy)

I Want To Do Bad Things With You

Chapter 6

“Jace,” I said softly as I walked over to him. I knew he was ignoring me, there was no way he didn’t hear me kicking in the door. His eyes were open but he didn’t look my way.

“Jace,” I said again as I reached his bed. I sat down beside him and pulled the headphones out of his ears once more. I could tell that he was struggling to ignoring me since his eyes flickered to me and focused on mine for a second before he pushed himself up and focused his attention on his hands.

“Please talk to me, I want to help you,” I said, hoping that he would open up to me.

“What do you want me to say Drake? This is all my fault, I’m a disgusting freak and none of this would have happened if it wasn’t for me!” he yelled as he jumped off of the bed and started backing away from me. His words were like a blow to me, I’m the one who told him that he is a disgusting freak and now he was using my own words against me. If I knew  then what I know now I never would have called him those names, I was shocked by his confession and in a way I guess I wanted to hurt him, I felt betrayed and angry and I took my shock and anger out on him. I know now that it wasn’t right but at that stage it was the only way I knew how to deal with what he had told me.

“It’s not your fault,” I said as I got up from his bed and made my way after him.

“Yes it is! My mom would still be alive if it wasn’t for me!” he yelled again as he turned his back on me and started walking faster.

“What do you mean?” I asked, confused. How did his mom dying have anything to do with him?

“They were fighting about us, my mom was angry at you for dumping me because I told you I am gay, she is the only other person who knew,” Jace said, coming to a stop but not turning to face me.

“What happened?” I asked, knowing that his answer wasn’t going to be good.

“I tried to stop them, I told them that it was ok and that you had every right to feel the way you do but then my mom had to go and say it,” Jace answered.

“What did she say?” I questioned.

“She told your mom how I feel about you and then your mom freaked out and started calling me all sorts of names, they were both drunk and it started getting physical. Your dad interfered and that’s when my mom took off,” Jace answered, shocking the shit out of me. I considered asking him what he meant by his feelings toward me but I didn’t, I already knew and I didn’t want to make things even more difficult for him. I guess I’ve known it since that night, I’ve just never been able to deal with it. He was going to tell me that he was in love with me that night but I cut him off before he could and we didn’t speak again after that. Jace is in love with me and it only made me feel even worse for the way I’ve been treating him.

“I’m so sorry,” I whispered, not knowing what to say or do. In a way this was all my fault if you think about it. If I didn’t desert Jace when he needed me the most none of this would have happened. I should have been a better friend, I should have supported him even if I didn’t agree or understand his feelings.

“It’s not your fault, this is all on me,” Jace replied as he started walking away from me.

“Don’t go,” I stated, hoping that he would stop but he didn’t.

“Please don’t go!” I yelled as I ran after him and grabbed a hold of his arm, pulling him to a stop before he could leave his room.

“Why not?” he asked as he turned to face me, his eyes red and filled with sadness and pain.