Dealing with the Delinquents (Finally Completed)

Special Chapter : vi ( we broke up)

Naiwan ako sa second floor ng bahay malapit sa bintana. This house is his mom's favorite place. I still remember how he saved me from that day. I was having a hard time balancing my time for work and studies plus the pressure of not knowing who's after us. Dinala nya ako sa lugar na ito where I cried on his shoulders and he said that it is fine. Malapit na ang paglubog ng araw. It is just a simple date; for him. Pero hindi sa akin. It is special. We talked about things; we talked about the future; we talked about our dreams pero bakit parang may kulang pa din? Can't we make those dreams turn into reality? 

Sumilip ako sa bintana and there he was, kalalabas lamang nito ng bahay at mabagal na naglalakad.

"Xander!" I ran towards him. Tila isang pelikula na nagslow motion ang lahat. Dahan dahan ang paglingon nya sa akin at tila unti unti lang din ang paglapit ko sa kanya kahit ang totoo ay tumatakbo na ako. I want to ask him again. Susugal ako ulit. I want to ask him that same question again.

Habol hininga akong napatigil sa harap nya. His face shows how worried he is, ngunit nanatili lamang syang nakatayo at hinihintay ang sasabihin ko. 

"Alam kong naitanong ko na sa iyo ang bagay na ito. But I want to ask you again. Alexander Montgomery" I paused and looked at his eyes. Hindi nagbago ang expression nito. " will you marry me?" There I said it. Halos tumigil ang puso ko sa pagtibok. Hindi ko inalis ang tingin ko sa mga mata nya at ganoon pa din ang expression nya. I want to marry him. Gustong gusto ko na syang pakasalan. 

This could be a perfect scene. The sun setting and the sky is turning orange from sky blue. The wind whispering to the leaves creating beautiful melody. 

"Haven't I told you na lalaki ang gumagawa ng bagay na iyan?"  Tila  nabato ako sa kinatatayuan ko. I never expected that he'll ask the same question. I should've prepared myself. 

Ginulo nito ang buhok at hinawakan ang kamay ko bago magpatuloy sa paglalakad. Ngunit agad ko ding inalis ang mga kamay nya. I was too excited, too nervous, too happy, too confident to ask him. But they were right, all too much is bad. I didn't ask him that question out of boredom.  I asked him because I am serious. After all the things that happened, I realized that life is just too mysterious and unpredictable. One day you might woke up and realized that you've lost everything you have. We don't even have any assurance if tomorrow will just be like today or if tomorrow will still happen. Life will just surprise you and catch you off guard. I lost my father; we lost a friend; we almost lose each other; enough to make me feel afraid of what might comes next. 

"I'm serious Xander." I warned him. Tumigil din ito sa paglalakd at humarap sa akin. He looked at me in the eyes with the same extent. "I'll ask you again. Will you marry me?"  He holds my hands and kissed it. 

"I want to marry you.." He said and I waited for him to finish. I should be celebrating now, for I already hear the words I want to hear but his eyes are saying something else. "But I still can't." He whispered. 

"Why?" I asked. It's breaking me into pieces and I'm really pissed off. 

"I just still can't." He simply said. Suddenly, I feel tired. I am expecting some acceptable reason but nothing slipped in his mouth but the most hateful word 'sorry'. 

"Can't you give me an explanation? Hindi ko ba deserve malaman ang dahilan? Dahil ba di mo lang feel pa na magpakasal? May nararamdaman ka ba na hindi mo masabi? May iba ba? Mababaliw na ako ng kakaisip bakit hindi mo ako pwedeng pakasalan?" Pinipigilan ko ang mga luha na nagbabadyang pumatak. This is the nth time he turned me down. Hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit mas masakit ang narinig kong sagot sa kanya ngayon.