before i go 》tronnor au

eight

death
2|28|16
word count: 278

death is a thing i think about a lot. i mean if you had two years to live, wouldn't it be engraved in your mind?

growing up, i always wanted to die in some type of extraordinary way, like swim off the edge of a waterfall or save someone's life. but, now i know the truth: death is scary.

what happens when we die? where do we go? can i impact the world before i leave the earth? or can i be told when my last day is?

unless i'm some kind of miracle, which i am most definitely not, the cancer will kill me. the stupid lung cancer will take over and kill me.

and i have so many people who love me, my family and friends. what will they do, waste their lives mourning over me?

sometimes i wonder if living is worth it. if i'm not going to impact the world like beyoncé or the queen, then why am i (hardly) breathing?

if i were to jump off the roof of the hospital or take a bullet to the head, would it impact everyone in the world's lives? the answer is no.

so what's the point? connor franta wants to leave a legacy. i guess that's why i made the lists. there isn't much i can do, when you're in a hospital bed all day.

death is very scary, let's face it.

a/n: this sucks and i will there will be a second update up today. this is a filler and make me cringe. btw, i was having an existential crisis while writing this so.

rylee

♥︎