The Stars...Revisited

Andrew Gold was an idiot, that much was true

SOTD: DADDY ISSUES- THE NEIGHBOURHOOD

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"Okay so you're really not going to give me a play by play of the disaster that was Ethan's premiere?"

I clenched my jaw as Jude let himself into my apartment, "Could you at least knock?"

"Why, are you naked?" Sean's stupid voice sounded and I clenched my jaw even harder.

"Do you people not have homes?"

Jude laughed loudly, "That depends, are you talking about the one inhabited by my mother, who really isn't my mother but my aunt, and my aunt, who really isn't my aunt but my mother?"

Sighing loudly, I got up from my perch on the sofa and walked to the kitchen, dropping my empty glass into the sink.

It had felt like years since we had discovered that my biological mother, Dana, had been keeping a lie bigger than any other I could ever possibly imagine.

After running away from a scummy neighborhood in Brooklyn, Cameron Ellise Richards tried to create a new life for herself and her younger sister, Daniella Richards, with the help of her well to do boyfriend, Jeffrey Wells in El Monte California. Upon arriving in El Monte, everything literally went to shit; her older brother, Jude Richards, passed away, she was tasked with faking her own death, got pregnant, had the mother of her boyfriend secretly make him sign a sheet of paper that forfeited his rights to his child, attempted to give said child up for adoption until her younger sister Daniella, who had just given her own child away less than a year prior, stopped her and offered to raise the child herself.

Not crazy enough? Well, on that child's ninth birthday, his "mother", Daniella [now Dana after having become fully emancipated], took him to visit his "aunt", Cameron Ellise [Now Leslie after faking her own death] and they ended up staying until he was seventeen and found out he had, what he presumed to be a sister when, in all actuality, she was his cousin. Yeah, I was that cousin, Dana was that little sister, Leslie was the one who started all of this crap, and Jude had to bear the name of somebody he would never know (this is literally how Jude explains the series of unfortunate events).

"So you're still squatting at Sean's?" I murmured as they both settled into the couches and Jude shrugged saying nothing.

Sean rolled his eyes, "He refuses to answer either Dana or Leslie's calls"

"So, when I was ignoring Dana's calls, after realizing she had given me up for adoption, you thought it was fair to force me to speak with her but, now, what, the rules don't apply to you"

Jude stared at me incredulously and sneered, "Oh poor, Harper, I'm so sorry Dana, who was dirt poor, gave you to a family of white collar proffesionals and that you celebrated birthdays in Greece, Paris, and got to rent Disney World out for your sixteenth birthday. I'm sorry that she gave you to a family that could love you with every fibre of their being. Here, let's trade the unfortunate events of our lives"

"Sorry" I muttered already feeling like crap, "Well, if it makes you feel any better, I broke my arm in Greece, sharted in Paris, and accidentally gave Goofy a bloody nose"

Jude mulled over this for a moment, "It actually makes me feel a lot better"

Sean grinned at this and nodded, "Glad we can all revel in each others unfortunance...is that a word? I doubt it, anyways, spill the deets on Ethan's premiere"

"Shout out to you guys for never showing up" I muttered rolling my eyes.

"We were on our way but then we got hungry, stopped at In N Out and ended up in food comas...Sean's mom had to come get us" Jude shrugged with a sad smile, "I found a curly fry in my hair this morning"