It's a long story

Maybe

I had fell asleep in the back of Soda's car, leaning against Pony. I was so tired and weak and yet, I couldn't be more happier. Hard work really does make you happy. I listened to Soda talk to Darry, keeping him from trying to keep and eye on the road, and I heard Pony's heartbeat. It was slow and steady and it was so calming. This organ was keeping him alive and it was something that made him feel things, too. 

"Who the hell is that?" I heard Soda say, when I was waking up as we got closer to the house. I opened my eyes slowly. It was probably One of the guys or maybe one of them boys from Tim Shepards Outfit.  I didn't think too much of it. "It's a woman." 

Then, I thought it might have been a girl from basketball, or some girl waiting for Soda, but my heart wrenched a bit when I thought about it for a bit. I knew deep down who it was, I just wouldn't let my head go to places it my not return. 

We pulled into the driveway of the our House and instantly, I regretted walking out. There she stood, my mother. They all stopped to look at me, and I kept looking at her, without saying' anything. I couldn't say nothin'. I felt like someone just tore my heart out of my chest and forced me to love them for doing so. I couldn't. I knew what she had done to my dad, and I hated her for it. 

"M-mom?" I stuttered, as I felt my body tense up. I couldn't believe I had she was right there, after all these years, she was in front of me, wanting me back. 

She smiled, and walked over to get a better look at me. "Jackie...My god, you gotten so beautiful!" She said, reaching out to touch my cheek, my I moved away, angry. I wasn't going to give in like that, or at all. "What's wrong?"

I got real red, feeling so angry at her. "YOU'RE WHATS WRONG! You can't just expect me to run over and cry and say 'I missed you!' 'cause I didn't Mom! I hated you for never coming around!" I just kept yelling, with every word coming out of my mouth, her face became more and more surprised. "You really hate me?" She asked, as I nodded my head. "I do! I really hate you! You left me and Dad with nothing and now, he's gone! He's dead and you never bothered to call or show up!" 

"Cause I didn't know where you are, or if he was even dead!" 

"SO?!? You never called or sent me a letter all those years. you didn't try to love me. It wasn't about Dad's death and thats not an excuse, You had 7 years to fix that problem, but you didn't and now I live here, with Pony, Soda and Darry." I pointed to them, as Their hair blew in the wind a bit in the darkness  with only the porch light and streetlights illuminating their faces. Mom looked at them "The Curtis boys?" She remembered them. She had remembered Dad always going over there so she could seek guys in. "What about Mary and Darrell Sr.?" She asked as Darry cleared his throat, tired of telling everyone. "Dead. They died in a car accident about 8 and a half months ago." 

She looked back at me, like this was some kind of orphans club that she needed to take me away from. "Please, can't we talk? I really want to talk." I rolled my eyes, and told the boys we needed to talk alone. "I'm still going to hate you, that's never going to change." 

We sat on the deck and it was quiet for the first bit, but after a while, she talked. I asked, first, why she did the things she did. 

"Because I was young. I didn't like that your father was a man who loved life and liked simpler things. I wanted to be a rich girl with lots of men to adore me. I wanted that life and I wanted things like that. You and your father were the same person, and that's why I took your brother, cause he loved the city. He loved the lights and such, so we left for New York." She said as I looked at her. "How is Bill doing?" 

She shrugged. "He just turned 18. He's gonna be a father soon and be married. I think it's a little girl." I stared at my feet, imagining my brother holding his own daughter, and maybe feeling what Dad felt towards me. Maybe. 

"Why did you leave me? Why didn't you just take both of us?" I asked, scared of her answer. "I-I couldn't. You were your fathers daughter. Daddy's little girl. You guys had the same mind and personality. You guys were the same person, and as you got older, you started looking like him. I can tell now. You used to look like me." She smiled, and continued on. "I couldn't separate you from your father. Like you couldn't separate Bill from me. I have a special bond with Bill, like you had with your father." 

"Had." I spoke up, exaggerating the word. "I HAD a special bond with Dad." 

"I was a bitch back then. I cheated and stole and took your father for advantage, but the thing was, he put up with it. He wanted things to be fixed and worked out. He really wanted us to a be a family, but I kept having my way with other guys. I think he was waiting for me to leave, because I secretly deep down, wanted a relationship with him, but he loved you kids more then me, and that got me jealous." She looked at me and began to cry. "I'm so sorry." 

I got up and walked inside, locking the door. I had my answers, and I didn't need anymore. She was sorry. I still hated her. I still regret being her daughter and hugging her when I was little. I despise her, but I'm not going with her. This is my home and this is my family. I have the gang and the curtis brothers and I was gonna be fine, without her like I always was. I was always fine with out her. 

I held my tears back, blinking real fast as he walked over to see me. "Jackie...?" I looked in his eyes. I loved his eyes. They were like two emeralds that glistened under dark water. We didn't speak. We didn't have to. He just kept looking at me, finding behind my eyes, trying not to bawl. "Come here." He said, as I wrapped my arms around his neck, reaching for safety. I cried into his shirt. I didn't want to relive the past. It was gone and done and I still hated her. I thought the first time I'd see her and her pleading that she was sorry, I'd forgive her, but I didn't. 

Maybe she saw that. Maybe She would just go home and give up. Maybe