Girl Crush

8: What if

What if I see her again? Will I have the courage to talk to her? Or will I just hide and be shy like I did last time?

What if she's not straight? What if she likes girls too? What if she likes me? What do I do then? How am I supposed to hit on a girl when I've never even tried to flirt with a boy? How do people do these things? I can't just walk up and ask ,not in front of my family. It's not safe. How do people do it?

What if she likes girls but not me in particular? What if she just wants to be friends? What do I do then? Do I want to be friends with her? If I don't, how do I tell her that without offending her? Can I? Am I required to at least try being friends?

What if she's straight? That has to be the worst option. If I come out to her in the process of pursuing her, she might not know or care that she isn't supposed to tell anyone. What if she tells my parents? My brothers? My friends?

What if I somehow find her, work up the courage to talk to her, find out she likes girls, work up more courage to ask her out, and she says yes? How am I supposed to hide that from my parents, or worse, come out to them and face their reactions? What do I do when I introduce her to the friends I'm not out to? Do I include her in the conversation when I come out to them? Do I have to say to strangers, "my friend," not, "my girlfriend"? How can I choke those words out?

What if I none of this happens? What if I never see her again? How am I supposed to just get over her? How can I wake up one day and realize I just don't care about someone anymore? Does that happen? Is it possible?

What if it is?

A/N
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