Highland Chieftain (Book 5)

Chapter 21

AN - A lot quicker than last time and a long one...or well longer than usual. Enjoy, Az x

Chapter 21

Kendrick left again, taking with him the light she had tried so hard to keep alight within her. Each and every hour crept by. The only way she felt alive was by acting out, by showing people that she still existed. Fore when she did not, she melted in with the very fabric of the Keep, no one saw her, no one wanted her, no one sought her out and no one even took the time to look in her direction any more. She was invisible to the world around her and it took everything within her not to go against the grace of God. She was sinking and had no one or way to climb out. No one to help her, no one to pull her out, all she did was sink lower and lower and all she could try and do was take someone with her, so at least she was not alone anymore when she did sink so low she could no longer return to the surface. Larena had lost all concept of time, it was just one breath to the next, which was all that she could face...that was all she was capable of.

Even knowing that the perfect couple had also lost a child, her niece, it was not enough, because she knew that it had nothing to do with them. It had nothing to do with their goodness. Instead, she knew this was her influence upon them. She wanted to tell them they would grieve forever, that nothing would get them past this, but at least they could console themselves in their living bairns. They would think of her often, question themselves, and need to know why it had happened. But it could not be answered by them, it was her badness that had caused this...she needed to stop it, needed to stop the badness from seeping out to other people. She needed to stay away from the goodness, lest she taint it even more.

****

It had been nearly a year, Kendrick could still not believe that it had been so long. He needed to get his head together about this whole situation. He had taken longer than he should have on the trade route. Whilst it had been the best course of action for his clan, his father being especially pleased with what he had managed to trade and the promises he had extracted for future trade. He was even thinking about bringing the MacKay's into the deal, if they carried on the way they were, his clan alone could not fulfil the deal, this could benefit both clans. It could also benefit an alliance between them all which hopefully would include a marriage.

The length of time it had taken to make sure the trade route was settled meant that he only just managed to make it back to his clan in time before the winter snows had set in. He had spent the winter months liked a trapped wolf within the confines of his Keep, his father trying to teach him everything about being Laird, whilst he was still solidifying his plan to win back Larena. Even if he had been a little longer than he had planned before getting back to Larena. It would just have to wait until spring. Then spring had come and they had needed every available hand in the Keep, it was summer before he even had a chance to think about returning to MacKay land. Even if he had kept in regular contact with Camdyn, who was of the opinion that he could not marry Cam's sister fast enough for his clan to be rid of her. It had made Kendrick ache with each and every letter. What was Larena going through for her own brother to want rid of her? He never said it cruelly, but it spoke volumes of what those close to her actually saw when they looked upon her. He wanted to get her to a place where he could show her what her true nature was.

Only he had been on his way to the MacKay land, finally leaving his land for the woman he had a designated plan to retrieve and instead of reaching his intended target, he found himself travelling further, taking his best men with him and heading to help Hamish as Cam could not. Aislinn going into labour had put an end to Camdyn going to the rescue and whilst he could not, then Kendrick could step up and help a friend. Hamish was the most selfless of all the males he knew, a truly soft hearted male that was encased in a mountain of stone, yet he was the one male who could be relied upon by those he called friends, no matter what.