Why not you? (Phanfiction) (completed)

Une ~ I made a fool out of myself

My heart is pounding. My idol/hero/person I look up to will be here any second. Okay. I have to control myself. After all I don't want to make a fool of myself in front of what my parents call, "my little school boy crush." As soon as I saw his first video, I fell for him. Of course it's not love, I mean I've never met the guy, but he's my celebrity crush. Even though he's not necessarily a celebrity. And before I'm questioned, I'm bi, not gay. I don't believe gender should matter in love. I fall in love with personalities, not someone's shell to cover the beauty. And I just love his personality. Even if he is straight and nearly a thousand miles away. Well, maybe not a thousand. But we live in completely different sides of the UK.

"OH MY GOD IT'S PHIL!" A girl shouts next to me and my head shoots up and sure enough, a beautiful ebony haired boy is walking up to all of the the girls and me surrounding a park where he is having a meet and greet. And no, I don't fall in love with looks, I would like him even if he was a goblin. Maybe. But I cannot deny that he's so gorgeous.

He walks up and I fanboy in my head as his icy blue eyes catch mine for a second. A tall, Burnett boy who looks as straight as can be in the middle of almost fifty screaming fangirls meeting a boy meant to be manly, kinda. Could I look more flamboyant? Nice going Dan.

He signs many girls papers and tells them so nicely to move on so he can get to everyone. He may be the sweetest boy I've ever seen. I take a step forward an he turns to me and looks up because I'm slightly taller than him. I gasp as his eyes look into mine and he smiles warmly at me. He's so much more beautiful in person than on the computer.

"Hi what's your name?" He asks taking my paper and beginning to sign it. I lose my words

"D-d-d uh," I stutter and he looks up from his paper sending me straight into a trance again.

"Sorry, didn't catch that," Phil says and hands me the paper.

"I LOVE YOU!" I blurt out before clasping my hand over my mouth quickly. I did it again. Another thing to my disorder. I cant control some of my actions. Phil blushes obviously embarrassed as many fangirls laugh at me. I can tell my face turns bright red as I try to redeem myself. "I mean, uh, I just, uh," I stutter before soon running out of my embarrassment. I blew it. The boy from the Internet that I had a crush on. I just fucking ruined it. I run back to my house and run up the steps past my parents and land on the bed sobbing.

My disorder takes the best of me as I sob uncontrollably and begin to throw items across the room in complete anger. "I'm. Such. An. Idiot." I growl as I throw my own stuffed animals and clothes at the door. I land on my bed sobbing into my pillow again. It doesn't take long until I find myself up again and hitting my pillow against the wall repetitively. I continue for minutes until I stop, completely in control again. The tears stop swimming down my face and I stop throwing and look at the mess I've made. I sigh and realize it could've been worse and begin to fix my bed and straighten the room up again.

No one really knows what I have, so I probably shouldn't classify it as a disorder but it's something I can't control. OCD? ADHD? Bipolar disorder? Just anger issues? Oh wait. It's not just anger. Ever since I was born I have been very over-reactive to my emotions. I lose control and just let it out. I get random moments and just reflect the mood I'm in. It usually only lasts possibly five to ten minutes until I gain control and get back to normal. I'm usually avoided when I have a moment for the safety of others. A knock comes to the door.

"Daniel? Dan can I come in?" My mums voice comes from outside the door. I wipe the tears from my face.

"Sure mum," I say and she opens up to see a destroyed room. She groans.

"Dan? I thought you were seeing that amazing Phillip guy, what happened?" I sigh and look down trying to keep control again.

"I made a fool out of myself," I say quietly. My mum comes in and sits next to me on the bed.

"I'm sure he's DEFINITELY seen worse," she says. "What did you do?" I sigh and grip my hands tight trying to keep control.

"I just blurted out that I love him, oh and he probably thinks I'm a weirdo now." I say and my mum puts her arm around me.

"I'm sure he's forgotten." I nod and she ruffles my hair slightly before waking to the door. "Have you packed yet?" I shake my head and look back at the destroyed room. She sighs heavily. "Your leaving in three days! You have to start now!" She walks over to my closet and pulls out a large suitcase.

"But mum, I don't want to go!" I whine after standing up and looking at the suitcase.

"Dan, I'm sorry, but you HAVE to get a college (Or university for englanders as I just found out, I don't understand anymore leave me alone whatever comes after highschool :p) education!" She says, "we've been putting this off way too long." I sigh again.

"What if no one likes me?" I ask.

"Why on earth would no one like you?" My mum asks again.

"Cuz I'm bisexual and like a boy from the Internet and I have random freak attacks that I can't control and I'm just not liked."

"Dan, if someone has an issue with your sexuality then just ignore them, you'll have people who don't accept you but try and forget about them." She starts, "You cant help your freak attacks an I'm sure if you explain to them what's wrong and if they don't understand just give me a call. And a for no one liking you, I NEVER want to hear you say that again Daniel. EVER!" She puts a hand on my shoulder and I nod looking down. "If your not packed by seven I'm taking away your Phil!" I shake my head and hold my arms out as shields in front of my laptop and my mum laughs before exiting.

I begin to pack almost all of my clothes leaving only some out for the next few days. Panic rises in me as I realize it. Three days. Then I'm on my own. I grab at my hair to try and gain control again but it's no use. I start breathing really heavy and fast and my heartbeat speeds up. I sit up on my bed and grab a pillow and hug it tightly trying to get rid of the anxiety rushing through me before I start crying again. It only lasts about three minutes this time before I stand and pack most of my other things.

meow

so this is not going to be updated very often I started writing it awhile ago and didn't finish it yet so maybe I'll update it every week or so :) I don't think many will be reading it though so it's a win win xD

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ READ HERE NOW.

The girl I dedicated this to, made my cover and she is literally AMAZING.. She also made my best friends cover (imaliveimpaige) to her story beautiful mystery and she has some of the best covers I've ever seen :D she is mycalminsanity

(Chloe, if you're reading this and go to get a cover from her do not look at my post if you don't want spoilers o.o)