Double life

Chapter 19

I didn't know how long I looked at his tweet before Tyler shook me out of it. I couldn't move nor speak a complete state of shock. Was he really leaving me like that? I wanted to change dorms but what he was going to do was extreme.

I understood why he did it, he was so passionate about his channel, and he had so much more to do to change this world. I knew that his purpose was good but still it didn't make it hurt any less. I was devastated; I couldn't even make out what Tyler was saying to me. It was like my brain decided to stop working, it was something that I thought happened a lot but not like this time.

"Nat, please talk to me, snap out of it." I could finally understand his words, he looked genuinely concerned.

"I can't believe he did this to me." That was the first thing I stuttered out; my voice was trembling, barely audible.

"Listen, Nat. Time helps, it's slow and it's painful but it works. He'll be like a book you read long ago. If you're meant to be, you will have a chance. And if it's not, you'll wake up one day and you'll realise that you haven't thought of him once and then you'll be free." I listened carefully to his wise words, trying to record them in my mind; to play them on repeat so they could make sense. But it didn't. I couldn't believe him this time, even though I trusted him with my life; for this I couldn't accept his advice. I knew it was crazy to think that we had a chance especially now when he left but I didn't care.

"Okay. You're right, I will move on. Eventually." I felt bad for lying to Tyler, maybe deep down he knew I was lying to him. Hell he did know for sure because I never gave up so easily but we both chose to not saying anything more.

As if he knew what I was thinking we went straight to the coffee shop without saying a word, passing by the main reception; well there was no need to change my dorm. Just my luck, it was Carly's shift, but of course it would be; that day was shitty from the start, scratch that - it's been shitty 2 days. She took our orders and continued being her typical annoying self. I guess some things never change.

"What do you want to do after we finish our coffee? I'm in a mood for films and sushi today! I know you are too, you always are." I rolled my eyes at him for making me look so predictable. Okay, maybe I was but he didn't need to point it out in public.

"Sounds great. The sushi shop near campus delivers in the dorm building." I said absent-mindedly, thinking about only one thing. Was there another reason for his snap decision? Was it me? I didn't want be self-centered but at the same time I felt guilty; like I was one of the things that made him quit B.A. drama.

After we got back in my dorm, we started looking over the menu trying not to waste all of our money on sushi. Or at least I did so, Tyler didn't seem to care; he was adding everything he liked to the cart. And 15 minutes and a one fight over the laptop later, we were waiting for our delivery. Tyler was looking for movies while I spaced out again.

I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that he chose her but next day he quit Uni. It just didn't add up; there was something that I didn't know. Maybe Finn had the idea first and then got Jack on board too. But then again I couldn't know for sure. It was eating me out alive because I wanted to be with him; to find out what he had planned next. I wanted us to a normal couple, to have a normal life but he left without even saying goodbye. And I was hurt; I didn't want it to end like this.

After our film night, Tyler and I discussed what I should next so I could feel better. His advice was good this time.

"If you really believe that you two are meant to be, then I guess you'll have to fight for him and see what happens."

"Thank you Ty. I really needed to hear this." I hugged him, like I did million times that day; he really helped me with this. Every girl should have her boy best friend, especially if he was like mine.

For the following few week, I tried contacting Jack by texts or Facebook messages but he never replied. I guess he was too busy with his channel. I wouldn't say I wasn't hurt by his silence; I even thought about going to his house. But then I decided against it, if he didn't reply maybe it meant that he moved on.

I didn't want to believe it because I knew he loved me and love like this couldn't be forgotten so soon. I knew I couldn't.

I thought about getting in touch with Finn at one point, when it was a month since Jack left. But he changed his number in the meantime.

At some point, I stopped trying to get in touch with him. But I always went to sleep with one of his videos on, just to hear his voice.