Im-Possible

Stupid Me

I rushed to the window, heart pounding against my chest. He can't be with that. Looking out I couldn't really see through the trees. I put my back against the wall.

This can't be happening.

My hands cupped my face as my elbows rested on my knees. I felt sick. He gave all his love to me now he is with her? I did leave but he said he got away without anything. He wouldn't lie. No. He couldn't have. My heart rate sped up like a million times faster. I have to go see. I have to see if it's real. I put on a black sweatshirt and sneakers. I pulled on the hood and went out the window. Good thing the house is on a hill so the drop isn't too bad. I slid out my legs hanging on the edge. I let go and floated down in like slow motion.

Once I hit the ground my knees buckled and I felt a sharp pain in my ankles. My eyes blurred then cleared up again. I sighed. This is impossible. He can't like her.

I stood up and made my way to the waters edge. Making my way farther down the chatting became clearer.

"Why did you go to Friendly's with her? You culd have came alone and we could have hung out." Alicia said giggling, resting her head on his shoulder.

Right then I saw his hand around her waist. His eyes were focused on the lake in front of him and he answered.

"I didn't want to come alone. She's my neighbor so I just thought I could go with her. Your acting was perfect." He said to her smiling.

"I know. I am very protective of you NateyPoo. The drink in my shirt was a little uncalled for but I had extra clothes in the back." She said to him.

NateyPoo? What the hell does that mean? They aren't like together right? It's impossible after everything we did together. Did that mean nothing to him.

"Yeah I didn't know she was going to do that. Were your change of clothes just as hot as the ones you were wearing?" He said smirking to her.

"Oh baby. It was hotter. "

Then he pulled her on his lap so their chests were touching. By now it was dark out so I could barely see their expressions but the moon let off enough light so I could see.

"Well I know how to make you sexier babe." He said looking at Alicia.

Right then and there is when I almost exploded. His hands pulled off her shirt leaving her in her bra. She pulled off his and they hugged closer and their lips touched. It was rough. She moved around on his lap like they were having sex. The tears came down. I silently sat there watching him love her more than me.

He led me on. That man whore.He was with her this whole time. He was messing with my heart just to be with her. I stood up and ran. Ran as far away as I could. I ran through the front door. I went upstairs to my room.

"Honey, what's-"

I slammed the door not hearing her words as my sobbing filled the room. My pillow was soaked and I cried and cried.

I got wrapped up in a stupid boy and I let him play with my heart. Stupid me.

It was so true. No guy could like me. It was all an act. She was acting. He lead me on. I can't believe he kissed me so perfectly but then did the same with her.

By that point I was screaming my sobs into my pillow. The room was dark and when I saw a sliver of light in the corner of my eye, I moved my head to see my brother in the door poking his head in.

"Avery, uhmm.... Are you okay?" He said rocking his body back and forth.

"Yeah Gav. Just.... Girl stuff." I said sniffling between each word.

"The Bell's invited us to go to their house to make s'mores. Do you want to come?" He looked at me. Sadness filled his eyes as he saw his older sister cry her heart out.

"Fuck no! I don't want to see that man whore ever again!" I screamed and slammed my head into the pillow.

"Oh. Okay." He said then started to close the door.

"Gavin. Get over here." I opened my arms and sat up.

I held Gavin in my arms with his wrapped around my neck.

"Gavin. Never mess with a girls mind. Only love one at a time." I whispered into his ear.

"I won't ever like a girl. They have cooties."

I giggled. "Alright Gavin." I said. "Whatever you say." I smiled into his shoulder and let him go.

"So your not coming?" He asked as he walked out the door.

"Nah. I don't feel like going right now. Nathan and I aren't on the best terms." I told him.

Then he left. I sat there in the dark with nothing but my feelings as I fell onto my pillow and drifted to sleep.