The person's body crashes into my own, startling me. They wrap their arms around me, embracing me into a tight hug. I can't loosen their grip.
"Elena, I'm so sorry. I wasn't thinking." Now, I was awake enough to recognize the voice. I relax a bit.
"Sam, get off of me." I tell him, pushing him off of me. When he is off, I study his features. Well, for starters, he has managed to put on a shirt, some shorts, and a beanie. His eyes are red, his cheeks splotchy from... from crying. He looks sad, and deeply, truly apologetic. I loose myself in his green eyes, unable to comprehend all the bad things that he has done. That wanting feeling comes inside of me again, but I suppress it. I re-build myself and speak.
"Sam... why?" Is all I can choke out before I feel myself breaking down into tears.
"Elena, I'm so sorry." Sam tells me, coming toward me to give me a hug. I sit on the bed and so does Sam. He pulls me onto his lap and rocks me back and forth, while kissing the top of my head. I turn around to look at his face. He was crying again too.
"I can't believe I did it, Elena. How could I have been so stupid and to have slept with her... and I'm only 18!" Sam tells me through his tears.
"Sam, you are always stupid." I let out a small, shaky laugh and so does he.
"But I'm serious." Sam wipes his tears away with the back of his hand and then recollects himself.
"I am really sorry Elena. You are the most beautiful girl that I have ever seen in my life. You make me laugh when I am happy and you make me smile when I am sad. You are everything to me. I can't thank you enough for everything that you do for me."
He places his hands on to my cheeks, staring into my hazel eyes.
"Elena... I love you." He says to me. So matter-of-factually. There was so much emotion in his eyes, plastered onto his face, everything. I can tell that he actually means it. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to respond.
Then, something that I absolutely do not expect happens. Sam leans in and places a kiss onto my lips. Not quite a peck, but not a makeout session either. A simple, quick kiss.
I look down, trying to comprehend. I can't believe that Sam kissed me! My... my first kiss... was with a boy who slept with girl that doesn't mean shit to him...
But, it made me feel something. That different feeling again. The... the craving. He saw my small smile that was plastered onto my face and he kissed me again. With more passion than last time, it was longer. I tried stopping him at first, but I gave in. I couldn't help it.
Sam kissed me. And I kissed Sam back.
Now Sam was something more to me than just a boy who I kinda have feelings for. No, those feelings are stronger... and now I know how Sam actually feels about me. This changes everything.
We just stare at each other. Then I get off of Sam and we stand up. Without another word, he gives me a quick kiss on my forehead, then walks out of my hotel room door.
I sit on my bed and think about my situation. Instant regret fills my body. What have I done? Sam had kissed me while I was dating Olly. Olly means everything to me. He is so sweet and kind to me and would never to anything like this to me. I want to date him. I need to date him. I need him. I want to be his girlfriend... but now... I'm not 100% sure anymore. Sam came into my life and screwed everything up. Or... could that be a good thing?
I knew who I wanted. But now I'm not sure. Should I tell Olly? Should I break up with Olly and date Sam? Should I not date anyone?
I sit with my head between my knees, frustrated and unable to think. Through this whole mess, I for sure knew one thing.
That this...my situation, what had just happened... was cheating.
***
