Scared to Love

11

“Mrs. Holden, Marilyn is on the phone.” Josh handed Heather the phone and waited for the response.
“Mari? My baby?” She sounded shocked as she took the phone.
“Hey mom!” Marilyn wanted to cry.
“Sweetie how are you? Josh said you were sick.” Heather sighed.
“I'm ok mom. Josh is good to me. He got me all kinds of stuff to help.” She choked back a sob as she thought of her mother,.
“That's good to hear. You should come see me when your better. Josh said he'd bring you whenever you wanted. I miss you. How's school?” She asked as she looked out the window, Stark had his head on her knee.
“I graduated. I miss you too mom. I miss singing with you.” Marilyn felt a few tears fall as she spoke.
“We should go shopping. Get you some shoes or some make up. You're old enough to wear make up now. I can show you how to use it.” She laughed as Josh watched her.
“I'd love that. I should go though. I have to get ready for work.” Marilyn wanted so bad to see her mother and hug her. There was no way with how she was.
“Ok sweetie. I love you more then life itself. You are my sunshine.” Heather told her daughter, Marilyn started to cry.
“I love you too mom. I love you more then that.” She hung up and hit the floor.
“Bring my Marilyn next visit. Please?” Heather asked as she looked at Josh.
“Of course. She might have changed her hair.” He smiled.
“That's alright. I just need to see her.” She smiled.
“Anything you want. You take care of yourself.” He smiled as he hugged her.
“Bye.” She said as she went back to the window.

As Josh and Marilyn left, she kept hold of Stark and Josh. Her arm was around his waist as they walked. Something that shocked Josh. It was the first time she had shown such affection or closeness in public. He did the same to her and she didn't move.

“It'll be ok. It'll take a while to get her use to your pink hair. We'll make it work. I promise.” He kissed her forehead as they got to the car.
“It just hurts.” She let her tears fall as Josh held her close. She lost herself the warmth of his arms. She felt at ease as she pulled away.
“You wanna go eat?” He smiled, trying to take her mind off things.
“Sure.” She gave a weak smile as they left.

Once back at Matt's apartment, Stark went right to his spot and laid down. Josh and Marilyn went to her room so she could take a nap. It was good that Marilyn was trying to be a little more intimate. It was hard for her, but she was trying.

“Hey Mar? You home?” Matt called as he walked in, Stark ran to him and barked a few times then wagged his tail.
“Yea just a second.” She called before walked out with Josh.
“You ok?” Josh asked as she took a deep breath.
“Yea. It's just going to take time.” She let out the breath and pressed her lips to his. She loved how it felt to kiss him.
“Let's see what Matt wants.” He smiled, taking her hand and walking out to find Matt on the couch.
“So we got a tour!” Matt smiled, Marilyn felt her heart stop.
“What?” Josh laughed.
“It's a small one, but it's a tour! Mike and Ian asked some clubs if we could do a few shows. We're in!” He laughed as Marilyn sat down next to Josh.
“How long?” She asked, not sure if she could handle being alone.
“A month.” Matt saw the fear in her eyes as he said it.
“Lyn....it's ok. You know you'll be ok. You won't be alone. The girls will be here. You'll have people around who you can trust.” Josh told her as she started to mess with her hair.
“Are you sure?” She asked, trying to stay calm.
“I swear. And I'll call you every day. It's not like I'd forget about you.” He smirked as she started to play with his hands.
“I can do this. This is a good thing. You guys deserve this.” She took a deep breath and smiled.
“If it weren't for the fact we'd be in a van I'd say you could go with us. Stark won't fit in the van with all of us.” Matt really felt bad, he knew it would be better for Marilyn to go with them but there was no possible way it could work with Stark.
“It's ok Matty, I just have to get use to your girlfriends.” She smiled.
“How about we have a big party? Just the people we know and trust?” He offered.
“Ok. Nothing to big.” She looked at Josh like she was scared.
“The girls have to get use to Stark. He has to get to know them.” Josh pointed out as Marilyn rested her head on Josh's shoulder and took a deep breath.