BITE ME

BUREAUCRACY IS IDIOCRASY GONE MAD PART 2

I phoned the VICTORIAN COMMISSION FOR GAMBLING AND LIQUOR REGULATION (State Government!) as soon as we got home and I'd sufficiently calmed down. Just in case. Better to have two options right?

"I need to get a Proof Of Age card for my son," I said to the friendly male voice who answered.

"No problem ma'am, I'll send one out in the mail today."

"We can't do it online?"

"Err... no. The forms are being changed."

"So you send it out, we fill it in, take it to the Post office and pay $10, right?"

"Yes, then he'll receive the card in the mail."

Deep breath. "How long? Before he receives his card I mean?"

"Allow a month or so? Maybe a little longer since we're changing the forms?"

"No way to speed it up? He needs his Youth Allowance and Centrelink won't recognise the Key Pass we got."

"Happens all the time!" He chuckled. "They keep giving wrong information out. Shame you had to go to all that trouble..."

"Yes but he only has fourteen days to provide it. Then we have to start again! There's no express thingy we can pay extra for?"

"I'm sorry ma'am. Nothing more I can do from this end."

We didn't get do the long drive to Mildura. The day before we were due to leave, my mother was admitted to another (her fifth) hospital.

"There's Kyneton, on Tuesday?" son said checking his phone as we sat waiting for yet another Specialist on the Friday.

"I need to check if your uncle's going to be here that day hon. Someone's got to be around in case grandpa has another fall at home." I'd be leaving my father solely in the care of my other, sixteen year old son.

Brother arrived at the hospital three hours later. Took out his phone.

"Tomorrow I'm in Canberra. Monday I have a meeting in Sydney. Tuesday... Hmm... so far I have nothing on. I can keep an eye out on mum and dad. May as well book it."

"Great. Kyneton's a lot closer too." I said.

Son logged onto VicRoads again, credit card out, ready to book.

"Umm... The appointment's gone mum. Someone else beat us to it."

"You're kidding right?"

"No?"

"Look anywhere! I don't care. Tuesday."

The letter from the Victorian Commission For Gambling And Liquor Regulation hadn't arrived yet. Four days to travel 20 kilometres and it was still walking... walking... I made a mental note to chase it up.

"Hey, there's an opening in Carlton on Tuesday!" Son was super-excited. "That's here in Melbourne right?"

"Book. Pay.Now!" I held my breath as he toggled between screens for a minute or so.

"Done."

"We're in?"

"Tuesday 2.45!"

Yes! The Gods were finally smiling! No long road-trip. Only a twenty minute drive from the hospital- even allowing for city traffic! 

I didn't follow up with the Proof of Age Card. He'd pass his test on Tuesday; get his Learner's Permit in the mail a couple of days later... We were still within the fourteen day window. Yes!