The Pen Pal Project // Alex Gaskarth

18.

The sound of her falling to the ground must have been enough to wake her mother from her sleep and tell Kendall to put her pajamas back on and that she was staying home for a day.

Kendall went to her doctor that day and she explained how her panic attacks had resurfaced and how they were aggressive and worse than when she had them two years prior.

The doctor dished out pills to, 'help.'

The pills did little to stop panic attacks, if anything they made them shorter and made it easier to stay calm afterwards, but other than that, nothing.

Kendall despised the pills, they made her feel weak, and that was something she hated. But nonetheless she swallowed her pride and took them.

"I don't want you driving," her mother said while they were eating lunch at Panera.

"What? Mom, why not?"

She sighed, "Because Kendall, what happens if you get an attack while driving? You could hurt someone or yourself. Not until these stop or slow down, they're too aggressive right now."

"Mom that's not fair! You know I'm responsible. If I even think I might get one while driving I'll pull over, I swear," Kendall argued.

Her mom shook her head, "And if there's no place to pull over?"

"Then I put on my hazards and pull as far right as possible," she replied.

"I don't want you driving if you don't have to. To school and back, that's it," the older woman compromised.

"That's acceptable. I'll take it," her daughter said.

Kendall's phone lit up.

"Who's that?"

"Jack. He said Alex wants to know where I am," Kendall said, replying to the text quickly.

When her phone rang again Kendall furrowed her eyebrows.

"What's up?"

"Alex is being difficult, he wants to make sure I'm fine. What should I do?" She asked.

"Why not meet him for coffee?" Her mom suggested.

"Perfect," Kendall replied.

"When are you meeting this boy?" Her mother questioned, her eyebrows raised.

"One. He gets out of school early," Kendall replied, "Do you think you could drop me off? I can walk home, it's close enough."

"Alright let's get going then."

____________________

Kendall had a large hot chocolate in front of her and she sat in the same booth as last time, waiting for Alex to show up.

She was a little anxious but she managed to keep her mind off of it all by humming to a Fall Out Boy song that was stuck in her head.

"That was mine and my first girlfriend's song," Alex commented while slipping into the booth smoothly.

"Sugar We're Going Down? Really?" Kendall replied.

"Hey it was the summer between middle and high school. We were young and in love," he joked.

Kendall just shook her head at the long haired boy.

"Do you want my honest thoughts right now?" He asked after a moment of silence.

"I'm not sure," she replied.

She was really anxious and she knew Alex could tell. She was bouncing her knee and playing with her fingers to keep herself busy.