The Astronaut's Mom

Project Easybake Oven

From: Piper
To: Mom
Subject: RE: Project Easybake Oven
Date: July 18, 2038

1) Space Baby: Yes, the baby was conceived in space. I know--we screwed up. But hey, we'd been locked in a very small capsule together for five months by that point, and the condom broke. It's not an excuse; it's just what it is. Yes, it is true that gamma rays go right through the EM shield, but I was not lying to you. Charged particles from the Solar Wind were the major part of the radiation dose that the previous colonists got, and we didn't have to worry about Solar Flares, which were the major terror on the first four missions. When I first got here, my lifetime cumulative was one fifth what the Mission 1 guys had when they landed.

Nevertheless, we did have a solar flare shelter, just in case, and that is where I spent most of the last six weeks of my voyage. It's this tiny space surrounded by the water tanks and provisions. We called it The Bunker. It made the rest of the capsule feel spacious. It didn't stop all gamma radiation, because gamma rays are the most penetrating type of radiation there is, but by the time we landed, I had taken a measurably smaller dose than my crewmates, and that's the best we could do.

Finally: yes, the dirt on top of the Hab is thick enough to stop gamma rays. That's its purpose. And my quarters are in the deepest, darkest part of the Hab, the part that's actually drilled into the canyon wall.

2) Life Support Data Hack: That was mostly for you. We more than halfway thought I was going to miscarry, and if that happened, I didn't want you to know there had ever been a baby. Not too crazy about the rest of the world knowing, either. Problem was, the biomonitors would have picked up the baby's heartbeat. Once an alarm was triggered, it would have sampled my blood and detected pregnancy hormones. So, we had a meeting and discussed it. The hack was supposed to be so minor that the mission control geeks wouldn't notice it, but I guess that was a fail.

3) TV Show: That was easy, Mom. Watch the show carefully, and you'll notice that every interview with me is close up on my face, and when you see me doing my job, they always film over my shoulder, with the camera focused on my keyboard and monitors. There's nothing you see on TV we don't want you to see.

4) Daddy: Jerry Heinke, Rocket Engineer. His job, if you don't already know, is to set up the MAVs--Mars Ascent Vehicles. This entire colony was originally designed as a one-way trip, but now the viewing public wants two-way travel, so Jerry is assembling the first MAV and producing rocket fuel from the Martian atmosphere. After that, there's testing, and then he'll start on the next one. Each MAV can only carry four, and the colony is always getting bigger, so he's got job security, in case you were worried about that.

Anyway, this is so against the rules. Not just being pregnant; having sex in the first place was completely forbidden. All romantic relationships of any kind are forbidden because of the small population and stressful environment. It was in the agreement we signed. When the MAV is done, they could actually recall me. I don't want to go back. There's so much more to do here.

What do I do?