Take Me Back

Chapter 2

Now

I take a deep breath, trying to build up the courage to knock. I know the chances that she'll even open it are very slim, but just the small chance that she does and lets me talk, is enough for me to stay and check. My heart does that thing where it can't decide whether it wants to stop or speed up. I bet Lauren wants it to stop. I consider going to buy her flowers or chocolates or something, but then decide that no, she shouldn't be bought. She likes a single flower more than a bouquet anyway.

I groan when I realize that I'm stalling and with a shaky hand, I knock four solid times before taking a step back and waiting.

And wait.

And wait some more.

After a good 15 minutes of simply staring at her door, I step up once I come to the conclusion that staring at her door is definitely not productive and knocking again is probably a much better idea. Upon coming closer I hear soft music playing in the background. I can't make out the song, but I know music is playing. I firmly knock yet again, but still nothing.

"Lauren...?" I shakily say out loud and not even a second later, the music's volume gets raised and I can finally make out the lyrics. Tears immediately fill my eyes when I hear the lyrics she obviously wanted me to listen to.

Oh, I wanted words but all I heard was nothing

Ohh, sometimes love's intoxicating
Ohh, you're coming down, your hands are shaking
When you realize there's no one waiting

The music then gets lowered back down to its previous volume and a sob wracks my body, her message definitely received. Despite the fact that I can't see through the tears clouding my vision, I step up to the door and speak.

"You may not be waiting Laur, but I am." I wait for a moment, hoping for some sign of a response, but.

All I heard was nothing.

~

This continues for a week and a half. Me going and knocking on her door, only for her to completely ignore my existence. Sometimes I speak through the door to her, apologizing, pleading. Sometimes I just tell her stories. Like how I rolled off of my bed the other day because I completely forgot how small these mattresses were, and how that proves that rolling over in bed counts as exercise and therefore I should not have to do it anymore. I could've sworn I heard a snort, but she still didn't respond.

I promised myself I'd give her all the time she needed, but this is getting ridiculous. She could at least let me talk. We're adults for fucks sake! We shouldn't just give one another the silent treatment.

I've thoroughly worked myself up by this point, which prompts me to be a little different in this visit to her door. By kind of, sort of, pounding on it, and yelling. Just a little bit though.

"Lauren! Open up! Please! I just want to talk..." I yell through the door that is in between me and the girl who drives me crazy in every way imaginable. God I used to always say to myself that I'd never be the person that would get crazy over someone, but since the fucking beginning I've been losing my mind trying to stay on hers.

I sigh, resting my forehead onto the cool wood of the door, you can hear the exhaustion in my voice and I hope she doesn't think it's because i'm getting annoyed or something. I just didn't sleep last night. Going insane really takes a lot out of you. I squeeze my eyes shut and decide to just continue to plead for her to just let me talk.

"I know I fucked up. I know better than anyone and I am so sorry, but please just let me explain. Let me give you my side of things. My reasoning. I just- I just want to talk..."