Thoughts! (At life's breaking point) COMPLETED.

Drownding

It's been a month since Simon has lived hear!...but I can't help feeling like I've known him my hole life, he makes me feel possessive about my past and hopeful for the future. He still dons't know about my "self harming" I don't know how I would tell some one! But that it how do you tell somebody, it's not just like a normal everyday thing?!?!?
I don't want to think I'm just doing it for sympathy because I'm really not it just lets the stress out. The thought of letting your mind out of a cut, but I don't know how he would react by this. I want him to like me, I really do.. I think I'm falling for him and I can't just hold them feelings back, he's my best friend. Like a brother almost and you don't love your brother the way I love him!... Wait did I just say love... Great..... That's one more thing to worry about, the thought of getting crushed and going to fare into the darkness! ..... He doesn't like me anyway. I would never get a chance with this totally amazing kind guy that is so nice, and so out of my league. What should I do?!?! .... I know what I want to do but he would never let me do that, I could run away! But then I'll leave him. And I'll never forgive my self all I know is I need to tell somebody about it, I just don't know how he will react? He would treat me different, just because I "hurt myself" would it hurt him? I don't want sympathy for it I just want his guidance, and his kind words to make the loneliness go away. This is when I heard Simon coming in to the front room, he was wearing joggers and and a t-shirt...." Hi Alex" he said with this amazing morning voice melting me instantly! "h...hi..." Just another day with my best friend, he really has no idea the way I feel about him! I guess I don't deserve him...then I realised I had been looking Ito his eyes for that amount of time my thought took over.